Dawson's Creek The Series Finale Classics

To say that I love the show is an understatement. I love Pacey more that I loved any boyfriend who graced my boring existence. I guess that's why I'm still single. I haven't met my Pacey. Not that I'm complaining.

Here are some lines, mostly Pacey's, that made me smile, cry, laugh, swoon, giggle, and a host of other emotions. You gotta admit the hilarity of some lines make you feel all of those. Wait, it's a drama series? Hah! Sometimes the story sucks and the lines illogical but hey, I love the show, period.

Part 1 All Good Things...

Doug: Alright, just this once, I'll let you go with a warning.
Jack: Thanks, honey.
Doug: No, no, no. Never call me that.
Jack: Dude, it's a deserted road. Chill.
Doug: Don't call me dude either.

Jen: Looks like Capeside finally hired a good teacher.
Jack: Good teachers are just traumatized students trying to erase whatever went wrong with their own high school experience.

Doug: You know, I don't understand it. You completely turned yourself around. You got the whole respect thing going, you're a business owner--at 25... completely unheard of Pace. I mean, you're doing good, brother. Why do you have to hang on to that last tail of bad boy stuff?
Pacey: Why can't I be Pacey and bad?

Grams: If the idea of marrying him makes you want to run screaming in the other direction, probably a good indication that he's not the one for you.
Joey: You guys don't understand, I mean, he is... he's perfect. And if he's not the one for me then who is?

Jack: It's like we're having some kind of affair yet neither one of us are even married.
Doug: Not all of us were fags at 15, Jack, it's not so easy for some of us.
Jack: I... I can't believe you just said that.
Doug: I'm... I'm sorry.
Jack: No, you're not. You know the difference is between you and me, Doug? You were a fag at 15, you just haven't stopped hating yourself for it.

Joey: Audrey's singing backup with John Mayer. She is touring Europe and she's got some boyfriend she calls the Anti-Pacey. He's totally boring and really sweet or something.
Pacey: And really sweet as opposed to the actual Pacey? And that's from my ex-girlfriend, no less.

Joey: Pacey, thank you so much for reopening this place. I did not know how much I missed it.
Pacey: Cheers! Maybe if your daddy hadn't burned it down in the first place, it'd still be yours.

Ah, you know me I'd be miserable if I was happy. - Pacey

Dreams aren't perfect, Dawson. They come true, not free. - Joey

Dawson: Best thing we could do is be ourselves, carry on in our typical, usual, distracting...
Pacey: Sordid love triangle ways.
Dawson: Leave it up to you to say the most inappropriate thing possible.
Pacey: I'm always dependable, my friend.
Joey: So very not funny. [phone rings] Hi, Christopher...
Dawson: And the triangle becomes a square.
Pacey: Well put.

Jen: What are you doing here? It's late. Doesn't this hospital have visitation hours?
Jack: I, uh, flirted with a nurse. I'm quite charming when I want to be.
Jen: What happens when she finds out you're gay?
Jack: It's a male nurse.
Jen: Cute?

Part 2 ... Must Come to an End

Jack: Who wants to go first?
[Dawson and Joey look at Pacey]
Pacey: Send in the clown, huh?

Jen: So they sent you in first?
Pacey: Yeah. I'm the opening act.
Jen: Well, you can start off by wiping that fake smile off your face. Say something, Pacey.
Pacey: Well, Jack tells me you're dying. Other than that everything's okay, right?

What's wrong, guys? Someone died or something? - Jen

Jen: C'mon, guys, it's funny, okay? It has to be. It has to be funny otherwise I'm gonna get angry and bitter, and I don't want to.
Pacey: She gets very crappy on her deathbed.

Bessie: Because you bolted and came back here and realized you're still in love with your ex-boyfriends.
Joey: I am not still in love with my ex-boyfriend.
Bessie: No, you're still in love with your ex-boyfriends, plural.

Pacey: Well, c'mon, Dawson went off and conquered Hollywood, you ran away to Paris and New York, and I...
Joey: No, I didn't run, I flew--coach.

Jen: What about that girl they cast as me? Ugh. I've often thought of getting a lawyer and suing his ass.
Joey: At least you get to have sex. All I do is mope around and pine after Petey then Colby, then Colby, then Petey...

Joey: I mean, I know who I'm supposed to be with, I've always known.
Jen: Really?

What if I demand that you make that decision? No more running. I'm going to make it my dying wish. My death will serve a better purpose. It's your ultimate motivator. - Jen

I've never really believed in God. In fact, I've spent a lot of time and energy trying to disprove that God exists. - Jen

Pacey: Dawson still doesn't know I borrowed this.
Jen: You mean stole?
Pacey: No, I mean borrowed. You don't steal from friends.
Jen: When did you borrow it?
Pacey: Uh, in 1998, right after he shot it.

I recognize a Joey trance when I see it. - Jen

Jen: I don't wanna leave my daughter. I don't wanna leave her alone.
Pacey: We will not leave your daughter alone, I promise you that. Saturday nights has me and Amy's name written all over it, okay? We will take care of your baby, I promise you. Oh, my God.

It's not about getting it right, it's... it's about knowing what is wrong and doing something about it. - Andie

Jen: I want her to belong. I feel like I never really did.
Jack: Jen, you belong. You belong to me. Don't you get it? You're my soulmate.

I'll see you soon, child. Soon. - Grams

Pacey: You're off the hook.
Joey: What?
Pacey: You're off the hook. Oh, I've never really put much faith in all that 'if you love someone, set them free' crap, as evidenced by everything I've done in my life up to this very moment but I am determined to be happy, Joey. Happy in this life. And I love you. I mean, I always. I have always, always love you. But our timing has just never been right. And the way I figure it, time is no man's friend. So I have to get right with that and be happy, now. Because this is it, I mean, this is all that we get. If there's one thing I've learned from losing Jen, that's what I've learned.
Joey: Pace... I...
Pacey: Actually, I, um... hold on, I'm not done yet. Because I want for you to be happy. It's really important for me if you'll be happy. So I want you to be with someone, whether it be Dawson or New York guy or some man you haven't even met yet. But I want you to be with someone who can be a part of the life that you want for yourself. I want you to be with someone who makes you feel like I feel when I'm with you. So, I guess the point here to this long run-on sentence that's been the last ten years of our lives, is just that the simple act of being in love with you is enough for me... So, you're off the hook.
Joey: You know, for the record, I don't wanna be let off the hook. If everything in my life that I've done has... led me here... right now, and... the last thing I want, need or deserve to be, is let off somebody's hook.
Pacey: Please don't miss my point here. I don't really have...
Joey: And don't miss mine.

Joey: I can't be let off the hook because I might just get the notion that's it's okay to keep running.
Pacey: So then, what exactly are you saying here?

Jack, being a good parent means knowing that your child is bound to fall down. You just have to show them how to get back up. - Doug

Dawson's Creek Season 6 Classics

To say that I love the show is an understatement. I love Pacey more than I loved any boyfriend who graced my boring existence. I guess that's why I'm still single. I haven't met my Pacey. Not that I'm complaining.

Here are some lines, mostly Pacey's, that made me smile, cry, laugh, swoon, giggle, and a host of other emotions. You gotta admit the hilarity of some lines make you feel all of those. Wait, it's a drama series? Hah! Sometimes the story sucks and the lines illogical but hey, I love the show, period.

Episode 1 The Kids Are Alright

Audrey: Come on, he's not that bad, is he?
Pacey: Well, apart from shoving his somewhat dubious musical taste down my throat, he did take every opportunity to tell me how many times he's seen you naked.
Audrey: He's never seen me naked.
Pacey: Really? He knows about the tattoo.
Audrey: [bangs the car roof] Wake up, you little perv!

The summer is over, Pacey. The return to dull normalcy begins now. - Audrey

Jen: What?
Grams: What's happened to my granddaughter? If you've eaten her I want you to spit her out this instant.

Audrey: Joey Potter, as I live and breathe.
Joey: Audrey, my nemesis. Welcome back!
Audrey: Thank you!

Alright, well, it looks like you're shacking up with Grams, amigo. - Audrey

Jack: What do you know about selling stocks?
Pacey: Not a damn thing. But Audrey’s father seems to think I'd be good at it. He told me I'm a natural born hustler and I should take advantage of it while I can.
Jack: Well, you gotta admit, Pace, you do possess the appropriate degree of obnoxiousness for that particular vocation.
Pacey: Thanks, pal.

Well, don't censor yourself on my account. I mean, Pacey Witter is nothing if not a card-carrying friend of the gays. - Pacey

Jen: This is art history... [turns to see Grams sitting next to her] Ahh! What are you doing here?
Grams: Same thing you are, dear.
Jen: What, you're in my class?
Grams: Uh-hmm.
Jen: Oh, this is so uncool.

Jack: What are you doin'?
Jen: I'm trying to make sure that Grams isn't in this class, too.
Jack: Come on, give the old girl a break. Besides, I don't think that the History of Pop Culture is exactly her speed.
Jen: Who knows? The woman's crazy. Like a fox.

Pacey: Okay, tell her.
Audrey: Tell her what?
Pacey: Tell her what a good guy I am. What a great roommate I would make.
Audrey: I'm not telling her anything. She's hot.
Emma: Well, thank you.
Audrey: You're welcome. I don't want you living with a hot girl.

Pacey: Let's say for the sake of argument that I am not at all unhappy that this summer is ending. Which is not to say that I didn't have a good time because I did, absolutely. It's just that, a different Hollywood party with different Hollywood friends every night and Hollywood Audrey is a little...
Joey: Exhausting.
Pacey: In a word, yes.
Joey: Look, I'm... got a conflict here because... see, the part of me that happens to be your close friend and erstwhile paramour says, "hey, you know life's too short, you gotta do what makes you happy, right?" Then the other part of me, the part that happens to be Audrey’s close friend and college roommate says, "you know what, you break her heart, I break your face." Got it?
Pacey: I got it.

Joey: What about Oliver?
Audrey: [laughs] He flipped out. Hated L.A. Kept saying that he could literally see his soul leaving his body. He left this note on Dawson’s pillow that said, "I'll see you in hell, Leery." Dramatic to the end, that one.

Man: I'm telling you, this thing ate my dollar.
Emma: Well, it's a jukebox, not a vending machine. You were expecting it to spit out a candy bar, were you?
Man: Are you getting smart with me?
Emma: I'm afraid that's unavoidable.
(Joey joins them)
Man: What are you lookin' at?
Joey: Drunk guy with his fly open. What are you looking at?

Audrey: I don't like this new Pacey. Not one bit. What happened to the Pacey of yore?
Pacey: The Pacey of yore is exhausted. The Pacey of yore just drove 3,000 miles in 3 days. Aren't you tired?

Ooh! Alright. I gotta go home. Our lady of continuing education wants to hit the bookstores bright and early so I need to get some beauty rest. Comin', Jackers? - Jen

Episode 2 The Song Remains The Same

Oh and uh, you might wanna rethink that suit. Seems a little gay. - Rich

Jack: Yeah, but is it clean?
Pacey: It's immaculate.
Jack: Phew.
Audrey: Jack, I'm scandalized. Is that an obviously gay trait that you've just revealed to us?
Jack: Hey, I'm clean. Alright? Sue me. Try living with someone's grandmother for a few years.

Pacey: Whoa, hey, just hold on a second here. You're not even gonna let the woman speak her mind?
Emma: Well, the fact that she's with you raises serious doubts as to whether she has one.

Audrey: I didn't like this situation last night and now that I see you bantering back and forth with that girl, I like it even less!
Pacey: That girl? That girl hates me!
Audrey: I know. She hates you too much I don't trust it!

Pacey: What did you say?
Jack: Oh, my love for this apartment knows no ethical boundaries.

You have a girlfriend? I slept with you last night and you have a girlfriend? - Joey

Everyone here who thinks Dawson should have told me he had a girlfriend before he decided to sleep with me, raise your hand. - Joey

Dawson: Look, I'm willing to admit that the timing on this is far from perfect but I'm sick of waiting for this so-called perfect timing that's obviously never gonna happen for us.
Joey: Oh, yeah, right. You know, it’s... better to just get it over with and move on, you know? "Slept with Joey. Just... cross that off my list of things to do."

Audrey: They do this all the time, right? No big whoop. I mean, it's normal to fight. It's healthy.
Pacey: Ooh. I don't know if healthy is the word I would use to describe their relationship. I mean, I'm all for "will they, won't they" finally getting their shot, but for two people to be that dependent on each other for their life's happiness, it's just...
Audrey: Incredibly romantic?
Pacey: Or perhaps structurally unsound?
Jack: Yeah, I'll second that.
Jen: Whoa, wait a second, all of a sudden you're coming out as some sort of non-believer?
Jack: Hey, let's not forget who broke them up the first time around.
Audrey: Ooh! Jen?
Jen: Oh, don't look at me. I'm too far messed up in this thing to have an opinion. I am just the road kill on the Dawson and Joey highway.

Jack: You will not regret this.
Emma: [looks at Pacey] Yes, I will.

Jen: Okay, I suppose a toast is in order. Though why I should be toasting to you leaving me all alone at Grams' is beyond me.
Audrey: Yeah, and I don't really think I should celebrate something that could be the death knell of my relationship.

Joey: Maybe there's nothing here worth saving. Maybe last night was just...
Dawson: Just what?
Joey: Just two old friends making a huge mistake.

Episode 3 The Importance Of Not Being Too Earnest

Audrey: Oh, my god! You're still there, like a vegetable.
Joey: Writing a good e-mail is hard.
Audrey: Yes, especially when it's a huge mistake.
Joey: Shut up.

I mean, you did just nude-up with the guy. Oh, I'm sorry, or did you guys do it through a hole in the sheet because that's very Dawson and Joey to me. - Audrey

No, no, no, that wasn't me. That was him. [points to Pacey] I'm totally non-confrontational. Alright, okay, alright, duly noted. Man, between the suit and nagging, it's like a good old-fashioned American family around here. - Jack

Joey: It was a mistake. I was tired. I clicked on the wrong address.
Audrey: See? I told you that wasn't a good idea.
Joey: That's all you have to say?
Audrey: I don't know. Sucks to be you?

Emma: Sure I haven't made a fantastic mistake then, living with those two?
Joey: No. I'm sure you won't be bored.
Emma: Now, that's a cold comfort.

Jack: Is Emma still here?
Joey: Uh, no, she left about an hour ago. I think she was heading home.
Audrey: How is it living with her? Does she run around in her underwear and ask you guys to zip things up for her?
Jack: That's funny. Actually, the three of us took a bath together this morning.
Jen: And I thought you only took baths with Grams.

Well, most of yesterday consisted of eviscerating my personal life and every other lesson is a rant composed of your dated theories. I'm sorry, I'm late, Professor Heston, but the first half of class is usually when you reveal how bitter you are, how moronic we are, and how literature is dead. Were you... thinking of moving on to something slightly more stimulating today? - Joey

Episode 4 Instant Karma!

This is what I get for signing on to this hillbilly circus. I could have been directing a music video in Paris right now for one of those homosexual crooner bands, you know, Instep or Backdoor Boys, or whatever. But no, I have to choose my art. - Todd

Pacey: I gotta study.
Audrey: No, Pacey, you gotta be with your girlfriend tonight. She's beginning to forget what sex is like. She may be forced to shag a stranger to remember.

Whatever. It better be over with soon because mature, responsible Pacey... he's kind of a big, fat drag. - Audrey

Dawson: Why do you keep calling me Donald?
Natasha: Well, I think we can both agree that Dawson's a stupid name. Plus, you look like a Donald. Or if you prefer, Ronald.

Natasha: So how's that old friend you dumped me for a couple of weeks ago? Didn't quite catch her name. Wait, it is a girl, isn't it?
Dawson: She's fine. I Think.
Natasha: Don't tell me she dumped you already? [Dawson didn't answer] That is... so sad.

Audrey: Oh! You guys, you guys, I just remembered! It's down on Waverly Road right next to that giant supermarket that has the free aisle!
Jack: Cool. Let's go. I'm cold!
Jen: Audrey, what's a free aisle?
Audrey: You know, the aisle that has a little plastic bins filled with the food that you can snack on while you shop.
Jen: No, those are bulk bins. You're supposed to put the food in little plastic baggies and then pay for it.
Audrey: Really?
Jen: Yeah!

Because... I don't wanna live off mac and cheese, and ramen noodles for the rest of my life. And that's how it will be for me if I don't bust my ass and play by their rules. I mmean, I wish that I could continue ignoring reality but I can't because we don't all live in Audrey land. - Pacey

You have the nerve to bring her here tonight, the girl you dumped me for after I gave you the best sex of your life? - Natasha

I don't think I've felt so confused in my whole life. I mean, here I am, I'm a married man, my wife is pregnant and uh... I'm showing up at a party just 'cause I'm hoping to run into, uh... a certain student. [Jack realizes then looks his way] I just shocked you, didn't I? You're shocked. - Professor Freeman

Pacey: Audrey, I don't know what it is that you want me to say. I mean, I'm really sorry but...
Audrey: Maybe... maybe you can just come inside and hold me.
Pacey: Yeah, I can do that.

Episode 5 The Impostors

Sorry, I... guess I find you a little intimidating now that you've tried to ram your tongue down my throat. - Eddie

It was implied. Social conventions dictate that when something embarrassing happens, we all tacitly agree to never speak of them again. It's what keeps us going as a society. That... and alcohol. - Joey

Leery, your inability to relax disturbs me. - Todd

Pacey: Then maybe you can tell me what's been botherin' you all week.
Audrey: Nothing is bothering me.
Pacey: Really? 'Cause I gotta say you've been actin' a little weird.
Audrey: Okay, Pacey, define weird.
Pacey: Fine. Weird is studious. Weird is quiet.
Audrey: What, so I act like Joey for a change and all of a sudden, I'm weird?

Let's not hug or anything. Your pig of a boyfriend's likely to enjoy that. - Emma

Episode 6 Living Dead Girl

Excuse me, Andrew. Must be my trick ear. Did you just yell cut? Yelling cut is one of the few bright spots in an otherwise bleak existence. And I will not allow some hack stuntman to deny me the pleasure. You do not break character until I yell cut. Do you understand me? - Todd

That was fun. Sometimes I forget how much I like yelling at people. - Todd

Your puny little mind couldn't process the fact that you were shagging one of the hottest young starlets Hollywood has to offer, so you jacked it all in for another go at your prom date. - Todd

Professor Heston: What?
Joey: I thought she was five.
Professor Heston: Whatever gave you that idea?
Joey: The picture on your desk.
Professor Heston: Well, she was five when that picture was taken.
Joey: That's false advertising.

Oh, my god! I am like flypaper for the homosexual community. - Jen

When I make my intentions clear, I want them to be acknowledged and reciprocated. In that order. - Jen

Audrey: Oh, when did you become such a dull normal?
Pacey: About the same time you started failing tests.

Jack: Want to, uh, tell me about it sometime... over coffee?
David: Coffee?
Jack: Hot caffeinated beverage. It's all the rage these days. Seems to be an excuse for people to get together and find out if they like one another.

Episode 7 Ego Tripping At The Gates Of Hell

Joey: What? When did you dump Pacey?
Audrey: Hello? Mid-mid-life crisis, thanks for watching. Jeez, Joey, would it kill you to keep up?

God, who did her parents buy off to get her into Worthington? - Eddie

Rich: That's a beautiful name for a beautiful girl. I think Denise means drama in its Greek origin. And might I say, Denise, that you have breasts that are begging to be touched.
Denise: Oh, that's a coincidence, since you apparently have testicles that are begging to be castrated.
Rich: Okay, then. I'll take my goods elsewhere.
Denise: Please do.

Joey: I'm not her keeper.
Eddie: No, it's worse, actually, you're her friend.

God, will you stop protecting me? I'm so sick of living in this little antiseptic universe you've all created. Look, all we do is we sit around and we drink soda, and we talk about how glad we are that we're all friends, which is ridiculous, Joey, because what kind of friend wouldn't know that I broke up with my boyfriend? - Jen

Well, let me tell you, Rich, the only favor I want you to do for me, is take me off your charity list. 'Cause you're pathetic, man. - Pacey

Episode 8 Spiderwebs

Audrey: So, what, are they, like, dating now?
Jen: Look at you, you want the gossip so bad, it's killing you.
Audrey: I don't want the gossip. I just... I don't know, I wanna hear that she has a pimple or something. I want there to be one tiny little chink in her armor of perfection. I mean, has that girl ever made a mistake? Like ever?
Jen: Yeah, actually, same one that you did. She dumped Pacey.
Audrey: Well, that's funny. You know, the way I always heard it, he dumped her.
Jen: Oh, whatever. Who knows? Who cares? Honestly, the important thing is, is that they're still friends... like us.
Audrey: Do you mean that?
Jen: Yes, I do.

CJ: You know, we didn't do anything wrong.
Audrey: No, of course not. We were great, you know? And we'll probably win some sort of award for moral fortitude and the proper use of birth control.
CJ: I don't see what the big deal is here. It's not like she's my girlfriend, okay?
Audrey: Yeah, well, neither am I!

CJ: Oh, so, what? You're just gonna pretend like nothing ever happened?
Audrey: Yes. And unless you want me to kill you, you will, too.

CJ: Jen, I think you're... great. I think you're... a great person. You're obviously a very good friend to Audrey... to... everybody.
Jen: What... what does Audrey have... oh, my god. It was Audrey. You slept with Audrey.
CJ: It's not what you think, alright? She... [Jen walks away]

Jen: I just wanted to tell you that I know... about what happened with you and CJ.
Audrey: Jen, I didn't know that you liked him so much. Like, I thought that you did but I...
Jen: I don't wanna talk about this. I just wanted to let you know that I know.

CJ: I know things are complicated but you gotta understand that I haven't felt like this toward someone in a long time.
Audrey: No, it's been a long time since you had sex. And you're incredibly grateful because you're incredibly messed up, which should have been obvious from the second Jen met you. Because generally, people who are into helping other people are about 10,000 times more messed up than the people they're helping.

You have got to stop this. I am sure that under there, somewhere, there is a nice guy and you are obviously just trying to help me out. But... what happened between us, it's just... it's the way that the world works. Okay, pretty much all the time, girls run around and feel bad about themselves. They're either too weak or too stupid to go home alone. So, sometimes guys just win the lottery. That's it. It doesn't mean anything.

Is this a joke? Did he really just say that to me? - Pacey

Pacey: You don't think I had the right to punch that guy?
Emma: She's not your girlfriend anymore, mate! Not that it would make it okay even if she were!
Pacey: He took advantage of her! He saw that she was messed up and he preyed on her! Which in my books makes him one notch below pond scum.

You know, all that stuff that you've been saying is finally starting to sink in, all that stuff that you've been telling me about yourself. And I guess that if it's true then... it probably really sucks to be you right now. Because no matter how nominally together you think you are, if your fondest desire is to start hanging out with Audrey, then chances are, it's not gonna stay that way. And you know what? If I ever got it into my head to do what you do, you know, to help people, I would be a hell of a lot better at it than you are. - Jen

Jack: So, we're, uh, not doing too well at this, are we?
David: Well, the hanging out has been good. But the dating? I think it's safe to say that when two gay guys go on a date and each ends up going home with a hot blonde girl, something's definitely not working.

Todd: For the record, never let it be said that Todd Carr is a man who's not in love with being in love. I think both my movies and my life reflect my deep and abiding commitment to getting two good-looking young people together, and having a bit of fun now and again. However... as Leery here bloody well knows...
Dawson: You're also a man who's in love with sleep.
Todd: To the car. Now.

Joey: Um... he's a big fan of cheating on my mom. Um, he's definitely not the type to do some back-breaking job for 25 years when there's easy money to be made in the less law-abiding sectors of the economy.
Eddie: You make him sound like a criminal.
Joey: Well, that's what the district attorneys call him.

Episode 9 Everything Put Together Falls Apart

Pacey: Okay, fine. I'll pay you 25 bucks.
Emma: So now I'm a prostitute?

Look, maybe I'm more fond of spooning than the average guy, okay? I'm sorry I let you fall asleep but I didn't know I had to be on Potter-watch. - Eddie

Emma: Oh, I see. You're taking the piss, aren't you?
Rich: I'm sorry?
Emma: Taking the piss. Having a laugh at my expense 'cause you think my dress is stupid and you're a small-minded jerk who's no doubt... small in other areas as well.

That's how people grow up, Jo. They learn from their mistakes. - Eddie

The way you treated her was unnecessary, Rich. Emma's not the girl who's gonna play down to your outdated stereotype of the lesser sex. In fact, she's probably the most eloquent and passionate person I've met in a long, long time, and she has far too much grace to be lowering herself to your playing field. - Pacey

Episode 10 Merry Mayhem

Joey: My father's gonna be there.
Audrey: Can I ask him about prison?
Joey: If you want.

Doug: Now, if you wouldn't mind, could you tell me what you did with my little brother?
Pacey: I murdered that punk, stuffed his body into a dumpster behind the red lobster in Centerville.

You know what? You crack me up, Dawson. 'Cause you stand here and you say these incredibly noble, incredibly self-aggrandizing things about how you don't want to play the game, when the truth is you brought me home for Christmas. And you can't tell me that you don't get some kind of perverse thrill out of showing me off to your friends and family. It's really quite a shame, Dawson. 'Cause they'll be a day when you're old and gray and not even the Viagra's doing it for you anymore, and you could've looked back fondly on that time you banged the living daylights out of that actress in your childhood bedroom while she still had her looks. But I guess that's what you get for thinking with your brain when you really should be thinking with your... well, I think you know. - Natasha

Audrey: So, where the hell is Jack?
Jen: Are you drunk?
Audrey: Yes, but that does not explain where Jack is.

Todd: Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to celebrate the birth of your son. Now I'm at a disadvantage here, many of you I'm sure know who I am. I am a filmmaker, celebrated on many continents, but I don't know any of you, which is a travesty because people like you, regular people, are my target audience.
Mrs. Leery: Ahem-ehem.
Todd: [notices Jen] Except you, blondie. You look very familiar to me.
Jen: You hit on me on a... on a plane once from Boston to New York.
Todd: Did we shag?
Jen: No.
Todd: Are you sure? Because I'm flashing on some sort of mile-high club activity.
Jen: No, that wasn't me.
Todd: Well, good. 'Cause that'd be embarrassing.

Joey: Audrey. Back off.
Audrey: What is your problem, princess? I was sticking up for Joe dirt over there.

Do any of you have any idea how incredibly hypocritical this whole little gathering is? You know, I've been flying high on a pleasingly potent cocktail of vodka and painkillers... and thank you, by the way, Gale, for the painkillers. But I seem to be seeing things a little bit clearer than... than any of you. Dawson? Pacey... you guys hate each other, don't you? You're never gonna be able to... to mend this little rift that exists between the two of you so... so why do you even bother with the charade? And Dawson and Joey, here you are, both of you, you know, all grown up and so very pleased with yourselves. And each with your little significant other by your side respectively. And while, you know, I will give you that it does make for a pretty picture, the truth of the matter is you guys finally slept together and you've never really dealt with it. And neither of you are gonna be able to have a relationship with anyone else until you just finally deal with your crap once and for all. And... as for you, Pacey, I am really sorry that Audrey Hepburn next to you broke your heart all those years ago and it's prevented you from ever fully committing to an adult relationship. But you know what? Just grow up. Merry Christmas, scum suckers. Peace out! - Audrey

Yeah. I kinda think I zagged when I should have zigged. - Audrey

Pacey: What? What's so funny?
Doug: No, nothing. Nothing. It's just that, um, you know, you've given yourself quite the makeover, haven't you, Pace? You know, you've grown some facial hair, you got yourself a real job, nice car, fancy clothes, but you're still the same Pacey. You're still looking for a quick fix, aren't you? You want me to sweep this under the rug? Fine. I'll do that. I don't know what good that's gonna accomplish because Audrey is gonna live to drink and drive another day. And you know what? It may not end up so happy next time.

I am too young and too self-absorbed to be entangled in something so serious, and if I'm too young, you're way too young. - Natasha

Episode 11 Day Out Of Days

Look, I'll go get you a rootbeer float and then you have to go back to school. I don't care how miserable it is. It's just life. Life is miserable. - Joey

Pacey: Mind if I sit?
Emma: No, go ahead. But don't sit too close.
Pacey: I know that overwhelming physical attraction's gettin' to you, huh?
Emma: No, that's not it, exactly.
Pacey: Really?
Emma: No. I just don't want anyone to know that, uh, you're with me.
Pacey: Thanks.

Well, I can see where you're coming from. I can. I can see where you're coming from. I can see how you and other people like yourself, people of lesser intelligence, might be a bit confused by my movie. And I can see how you actually don't have any new ideas of your own on how to improve it because after all, you're not really in the business of having ideas, are you? Oh, that's right. You think you are. Well, you're not. You're in the business of criticizing other people's ideas. Which is why, after much careful consideration, I'll be throwing your most generous offer back in your face and leaving. Goodbye. And good luck with all your future endeavors. - Todd

Emma: Look, I've just been wondering what's it all for. I mean, if what you've told me over the last couple of days is true, then you've pretty much changed your entire life and I'm not entirely sure why.
Pacey: How the hell should I know? Why does anybody change their life? Why do people dye their hair, for that matter?
Emma: To piss off my mum. Or to try to be somebody else?
Pacey: For me, it would be the latter.
Emma: And why do you want to be somebody else?
Pacey: Because that's a part of growing up. Let me tell you, Pacey at 15 was a bit of a schmuck--bad haircut, bad Hawaiian shirts, broke all the time. Dumb enough to be chasing after things he knew he was never going to get, anyway.
Emma: Mostly women, I suppose.
Pacey: Mostly. Though there were a few girls. And you are allowed to call them girls when they're 16.

Yes, look, just take the money, will you? It'd be a whole lot easier for me than trying to be nice to you for the rest of the freakin' semester. - Professor Heston

Episode 12 All the Right Moves

So... anyway, here's the thing. Um, I messed up and I'm really sorry. You know, for my insane behavior the past couple of months. For any pain or worry I might have caused you guys. For... pushing you away when you were just trying to be my friends. So, the thing... is that after the whole Christmas debacle, you know, I went home, to Los Angeles and... this one night, this one horrible, horrible night, I found myself at this party in Malibu on this beach... full of strangers. And the sun was coming up and... I was just drunk off my ass, and... I remember looking around and thinking, "You know what? Maybe the problem isn't Joey... or Pacey or... Jen or CJ or Jack or Dawson or anyone else. Just maybe... maybe it's me." I don't expect you to forgive me right away because I do realize how bad I've messed up and... you know, I... if you guys wanna call me sometime, you know, just to say hi, that would be really cool. Because I really love you, guys, and I miss you, and I'm just really sorry. - Audrey

Dude, what is up with all the Courtney Love wannabes? It's like an Audrey convention out there. - Audrey

Harley: What's going on?
Joey: Oh, it's all very exciting. The phone is actually ringing.

Look, Joey, I... I admit that I haven't been the most present parent to this point but it's... sometimes... I don't know, one minute it was all Barney and Elmo, and now, well, I'm kinda startin' to realize that my little muffin might just be a juvenile delinquent. - Professor Hetson

Episode 13 Rock Bottom

Grams: He wanted me to convert
Jen: What... to convert what?
Grams: To Judaism.
Jen: Clifton Smalls is Jewish?
Grams: He most certainly is. Jennifer, I cannot do that. I can't turn my back on my faith.
Jen: Big baby Jesus would have a fit. [Grams gives her the look] I'm sorry. Blasphemy and whatnot. Come on! You deserve so much better than that. Clifton smalls is a freak.

Joey: You didn't show up for rehab.
Audrey: You know, you've really got an eye for the detail. How long have you been on the force, detective?

Audrey: You know, we're gonna have to do something about the sex thing, though.
Bob: What are you talking about? You told Joey I was an outstanding lay.
Audrey: Eh... it's a little brief. Don't you think?
Bob: Well, you know, you... you... you... you set one pace, you know. I was givin' it nice and slow and then you went all hellcat on me. I can't... I can't do that.
Audrey: Oh, so it's my fault!
Bob: Well, you're just... you're just too good. That's what it is.

Eddie: Yeah, hey! You think maybe you could get off there?
Audrey: Why?
Eddie: Because it's dangerous. Not to mention, completely disrespectful.
Audrey: What are you talking about? This car's a piece of crap.
Eddie: I'm sure it pales in comparison to whatever trendy little BMW you have waiting for you back in 90210-land, but this is all I have.
Audrey: Well, then I guess it sucks to be you, huh?
Eddie: (to Joey) It's wrong to hit girls, right?
Joey: Sadly, yes.
Eddie: That's what I thought. Just checking.

CJ: 'Cause Uncle Bill, he's, uh... he's not like most people.
Jen: So? Neither is my Grams. She's a freak. She's a thoroughly lovable freak but she's a freak, nonetheless.

Heather: You have no idea how close you were to getting fired.

Audrey: Wait, I have an idea. Come on, Bob, you got some work to do. You and I stopped in Vegas, we got married.
Bob: We did?
Audrey: No, but that's what we're gonna tell my parents. It'll freak 'em out, take their mind off the other thing.
Bob: Can we have sex again?
Audrey: No.
Bob: What kind of honeymoon is that?

Episode 14 Clean And Sober

Pacey: Joey, don't be jealous. Just because she can do things that no man has ever known before.
Joey: Okay, now you're disturbing me. It's a television that looks like it ate a small country. This is the most blatant display of capitalism I've ever seen.
Jack: Don't be threatened by something you don't understand, Joey.

Jack: This is awesome. I'm gonna pray to her every night.
Jen: It's a box, Jack. It's a big box. Since when have you been so interested in big boxes?
Jack: Since Pacey here started sharing the wealth.

Have you boys no concern for the general aesthetic quality of your surroundings? This thing is so big, it could block the sun. - Jen

Jen: Um, but I'm gonna go now and when I return, I will have CJ, and I will have ice. Ice, which is for drinks, not for boys' broken faces.
Pacey: Thanks for the clarification.

Emma: Oh, what in the queen's name is that?
Pacey: That is tonight's entertainment and every glorious night thereafter.
Jack: This is Bertha. Isn't she pretty?
Emma: No. She is not pretty. She is an over-sized hag who's taking up my practice space.

Dawson: Uh, Wicked Dead is going straight to cable.
Audrey: Oh.
Dawson: Which means Todd won't be directing anything in the near future and I probably won't ever get another shot at this rate.
Audrey: Yeah... I'm in rehab, Dawson.

Joey: You know, CJ, I just... I really think it's great how you've turned Jen around. Because before, believe me, I mean, she was... she was a troubled young lady.
CJ: So she says.
Joey: She killed a girl once.
CJ: What?
Joey: Abby Morgan. Killed her with champagne.

Joey: You're still not over me. That must suck.
Pacey: Oh, it does. You have no idea the hardships I go through trying to maintain a friendship with a dream girl such as yourself. You have no idea.
Joey: Gets lonely.
Pacey: It does. I cry myself to sleep every night. But Jack and I cuddle. That eases the pain. He's very loving.
Joey: [laughs] Oh, Pace. You know what? I am a good catch. [walks away]

Jack: You know, actually, uh, uh... I would be the perfect husband. You know, uh, I can... help you check out guys. I can... make sure they're not gay.
Emma: [laughs] Yes, it is rather a hassle when you find that out late in the game, isn't it?
Jack: Plus, you know, I wouldn't be pawing you all the time like Gus.
Emma: Well, that sounds great. Let's get married, then.
Jack: Let's do it.

Jack: I'm just tryin' to help you out. I mean, we already live together, right?
Emma: Look, why do you think I asked Gus? 'Cause he's a nasty little creature who I don't care about. It's easier that way. I could never ask that big of a favor from a friend. I just... I couldn’t.
Jack: Well, you don't have to 'cause... I'm askin' you.
Emma: Jack, you are too good. [hugs Jack]
Jack: Well, not really. I... I... I didn't get you a ring or...
Emma: [slaps Jack in the chest] That's a good point! No, you are. You are too good for that. I couldn’t.
Jack: I would.
Emma: I know.

What you said earlier was right. I never did. How could I? Just look at you. - Pacey

Episode 15 Castaways

Joey: You have a hot date or something?
Pacey: No, but a beautiful woman did just offer to have sex with me, no strings attached.
Joey: You're so cute when you're delusional.

This is why we stopped? Pacey, we're stuck in here because you had some pressing need for birth control? - Joey

Pacey: Okay, let’s... just... take a little time out because you and I... we're not actually having this conversation.
Joey: Oh, why? 'Cause you don't wanna talk about sex with me?
Pacey: Ha! Do you wanna talk about sex with me?
Joey: Well, no, but... I usually don't wanna talk about sex with anybody.
Pacey: Thank you for proving my point. Now, if we could move on, I think our night will be much, much more pleasant.
Joey: After you tell me why you don't wanna talk about sex with me.

We do not, under any circumstance, talk about sex. I may be having it, you may be thinking about having it, but we don't discuss it. That way we avoid the awkwardness and in avoiding the awkwardness, we are able to maintain our friendship. You see, it's a preventative measure. I solved the problem before it even starts. - Pacey

Joey: What, so as far as you're concerned, I slept with you and then I took myself in and got re-virginized?
Pacey: In my mind? Yes.
Joey: Oh, so I never slept with Eddie or Dawson?
Pacey: Oh! I told you, I don't wanna hear about this.
Joey: Okay, so basically what you're saying is that the only way you and I can continue being friends is if we lie to each other about our sex lives. If we take that whole giant aspect of our lives and just... pretend like it doesn't exist?
Pacey: Worked for you and Dawson.

You know, you're only making it worse for yourself. Much worse. When I catch you, who knows what other body parts I'll require you to shave. - Joey

Joey: We discussed this already. There will be no bikes, no roller-blading and no you shooting hockey pucks at my head.
Pacey: Oh, now, come on. Those weren't real hockey pucks. Those were little plastic indoor ones.

Joey: I promise you this is not going to hurt.
Pacey: Now, how could you possibly make a promise like that about what it is we're about to do, seeing as you've never done it before?
Joey: Just because I've never done it before doesn't mean I'm not gonna be good at it. I was good at sex, wasn't I? [Pacey just looks at her] Sorry. Forget that. Sore subject.

Joey: Regular... or menthol?
Pacey: Are we smoking or are we shaving?
Joey: Pacey Witter, friend to women. I think it's better to go with sensitive skin.

There. Hello, chin. You're back. - Joey

Joey: You were wanting to kiss me all night?
Pacey: Yes.
Joey: Even when you were yelling at me.
Pacey: Especially when I was yelling at you.
Joey: Even when you were flirting with that other girl?
Pacey: Yeah. Then, too.
Joey: So... is this... some sort of... recent new development in your life?
Pacey: Wanting to kiss you? No. It's sort of always there. Like... white noise, or... the Secret Service, or the threat of nuclear war, for that matter. Just somethin' you get used to.

Pacey: It would be fair to say that I haven't been feeling all that friendly towards you lately.
Joey: You've been feeling more than friendly.
Pacey: Yes.
Joey: And the only way you could express that was to pick a fight with me.
Pacey: I suppose the answer to that would also be yes.

What I know is that... you and I were one of the few things, perhaps the only thing... that ever made total and complete sense in my life. That's what I know. - Pacey

Joey: Hey, Pace, did you...
Pacey: Yeah. Put all the stuff back? Yeah. Though some of it we're gonna have to pay for, like the clothes.
Joey: Pacey, did you...
Pacey: If the next words out of your mouth are "take out the trash," I will officially have a preview of what it'd be like to be married to you.
Joey: And?
Pacey: It ain't pretty.

Joey: I miss you, Pace.
Pacey: I miss you, too.

Kmart employee: So is this... like, your girlfriend?
Joey: No. We just sleep together from time to time. Do you have a problem with that?

'Cause, you know, if you found everything that you needed today, what would be the point of waking up tomorrow and doing it all over again? It just wouldn't seem worth it. - Pacey

Episode 16 That Was Then

Joey: Bad timing? You're on your way out.
Pacey: No. It’s... cosmic timing. I was on my way to see you.
Joey: Really?
Pacey: Yeah.

Joey: It would be nice if we could stop being so polite.
Pacey: Oh. You know, actually, I'm really glad that you said that because I've been meaning to emotionally abuse you for weeks. I just wanted to make sure you're up for it.
Joey: Pacey.
Pacey: Okay, I'll stop.

Joey: Do you regret telling me what you told me?
Pacey: I guess it really... depends on whether or not you regretted hearing it.

Pacey: Well... I guess maybe I'm just tryin' to play out all the worst case scenarios because I wanna be sure that you and I have grown enough to be together without always having to replay our history. 'Cause... I'd really like to look into our future.
Joey: You want a clean slate.
Pacey: Well... yes and no. I just don't want my prior offenses being held against me.

Please tell me he didn't just call me mister. - Dawson

Doug: You should try having breakfast with Dad and see him grab his chest and fall over. I mean, have you ever seen him off-guard one single day in your life?
Pacey: No. No. Not even close. Which is probably what's so scary about this whole thing. I mean, I spent so long pushing the old man's buttons in high school, I... I forgot there are real feelings left under there.

Mr. Witter: Listen, it can't be good for you being away from the office this much, can you?
Pacey: Well, I'm pretty sure they'll understand, given the circumstances.
Mr. Witter: What about your clients?
Pacey: You're my father.

Harley: Okay, fine. Whatever. I asked you over here to be with me, not salivate over my babysitter. I mean, do you have any idea how gross that is?
Patrick: I can't believe you still need a babysitter.

Pacey: How did we get here? Am I stepping on your turf or something? Are you the only member of the family who's allowed to be caring and compassionate? What did you expect me to do, Doug? Just chomp on my cigar on the other end of the phone and cut a check for the man's funeral? I'm a member of this family.
Doug: Yeah, conveniently. I mean, that's the way it is with you lately, isn't it? You know, you just swoop in with your... your fancy gifts. You just pull the wool over the whole Witter family's eyes. And then you're out. And everybody forgets.
Pacey: Forgets what? That I'm the family failure? Am I just never supposed to grow up? Am I not allowed to want things?
Doug: Oh, no. We all want things, Pacey. Believe me, we all want things. Nobody would deny you that.
Pacey: Then what? I'm just not supposed to get them. So ultimately, this is not about our father. Which is kind of pathetic, Doug, considering the condition that that man is in right now. This is about you wanting to see my face everyday and know that you're still the good son, that you're top dog. Well, that's just sad. Dougie, I miss the daily beatings as much as you do but I had to leave sometime.
Doug: Pacey, don't make this a celebration of your retreat from Capeside.
Pacey: I'm not. Man, listen to yourself speak. I came here to see you. To see him. And you know what? He knows it. And he appreciates it. Perhaps he's even happy to know that the son he ignored for the better part of his life is not gonna hold a grudge against him until the day he dies. In a strange way, this might even be a good thing.
Doug: Yeah, you know what, it is a good thing, Pacey. You know, it's all yours, little brother. You know what, it's all yours. Enjoy it while it lasts.

Dude, how many boyfriends did you have? - Harley

Dawson: I don't know when this happened. When I became the one who make sure the house is warm enough and you became the one who checks up on repairs.
Pacey: I do not know but sometimes I feel like I've been playing the part, wearing the suit for so long that... I may have forgotten how I got there in the first place.

Being here... being at the high school, all these ghosts around me, I just... I wanna go back. I wanna start over. Do things the right way. - Dawson

Episode 17 Sex And Violence

What am I, sex on a stick? I'm not a boy. I don't have... the same kind of sex drive that you do, alright? - Jen

Joey: You can just fire somebody because you don't like the way they look? Isn't that discrimination?
Rich: (to Pacey) Is she Human Resources?

Heather: You've been staring at the twins for the past 20 minutes.
Dawson: I'm...
Heather: Not that I mind, of course. They are fantastic. And worth every penny.

Dawson: Well, are they... you guys wanna hear the rest of it? I mean, that's just a very small part of it.
Mr. Newman: Let me give you a little advice, pally. When somebody tells you, "you got yourself a deal," you zip it. You know, you nod, you smile, and you look grateful. You do not say another word. Another word can only do you harm. You know what I'm sayin'?

Rich: Jeez, man. At least I waited a week with mine.
Pacey: (to Joey) Pigs. We're all pigs.

Episode 18 Love Bites

Joey: Eddie, you walked away.
Eddie: I came back.
Joey: I moved on.

Joey: Hello?
Pacey: Hi. Is this Potter's House of Pain?
Joey: This is Mistress Joey speaking.

Harley: Was he with other girls?
Joey: It was the boy's bathroom.
Harley: Which is where we had our first kiss. Hello?

Listen, Joey. I don't wanna hurt your feelings but my high school experiences shouldn't really be the same as yours, or I'm doing something terribly, terribly wrong. - Harley

Patrick: Yeah, I don't know why I should be taking advice from you. Like you're some kind of Yoda when it comes to the chicks.
Pacey: Have you seen my date?
Patrick: Tell me more, Sensei.

Grams: Jennifer, if you are looking for mystery or drama, you'd best take your search elsewhere.
Jen: I'm sorry, I'm not gonna let you keep this secret. You know, I've lived with you for five years and every time that I've tried to mope my way around the house, you've insisted that I come clean for the common good. So... now it's your turn.
Grams: Alright. Dr. Loomis is an oncologist. I am seeing her because there is a malignant tumor in my breast. I will be starting a round of radiation therapy next week because the growth has spread beyond the point where surgery would be effective.
Jen: (starts crying) Are you talkin' about breast cancer?
[Grams nods]
Jen: Oh, my god.

Pacey: So what, you're scared, right? You're scared. And so am I, believe me. And I'm scared because I don't know where this thing is going, Jo. As in, I think it could go anywhere. This could be it.
Joey: It won't be.
Pacey: How could you possibly know that? I mean, really. I mean, last week, you're on board, and now you're just psychic-ly tell me that this could never be something great. You just... you can't possibly know that...
Joey: But I do.
Pacey: Because we don't know that, Joey.

Pacey: I mean, I've known you too long and seen you push away too many good things to let you push me away right now. My whole life, Joey, my whole life you have been the most beautiful thing in my orbit. And my feelings for you were what proved to me... that I could be great. And those feelings were stronger and wiser, and more persistent, and more resilient...
Joey: Pacey...
Pacey: Than anything else about me.
Joey: Stop.
Pacey: Jo...
Joey: Pacey!
Pacey: When I was afraid of everything I was never afraid to love you. And I could love you again. I could, Joey...
Joey: Pacey...
Pacey: ... I'm tellin'...
Joey: No.
Pacey: ... you.
Joey: Pacey...
Pacey: This could be...
Joey: Stop! Eddie came back. I'm sorry. He came back last night. He came to the bar...
Pacey: Oh. Okay. [walks away from Joey]
Joey: Look, I'm... I'm sor... [door closes at her face]

It's not always about what you want, Dawson. You grow up and life isn't what you thought it was gonna be like when you were a kid. - Mrs. Leery

Grams: Jack can have nothing to do with this, nor can you, Jennifer. This is my own personal business and... I can take care of it myself.
Jen: Well, what about me? I mean, who's gonna to take care of me? I mean, you're my... my grandmother, you're the person that I love most in the world. And you're sick and I'm the one who's scared.

Jennifer, I am not ready to die yet. - Grams

If memory serves, I owe you a dance, Ms. Potter. - Pacey

Episode 19 Lovelines

Joey: Impressive. I would have thought he was a little too, uh... clinical for your taste.
Audrey: Uh, it's kind of a rehab thing. You start to crave men based on who'd look cutest in a white lab coat.

Jen: I've to help Grams.
CJ: I can help Grams. Let me come.
Jen: I don't think that's a very good idea.
CJ: Why not?
Jen: Because, CJ, I'm breaking up with you. I'll see you tonight.

Audrey: Do you wanna make out?
Eddie: No.
Audrey: [laughs] Good. That was your test, buddy. Break her heart again and I'm gonna kill you. You got it?

Not a problem. It's cool. I mean, not cool, of course. Although I do like to pimp him out from time to time. - Jack

There's really nothing to be embarrassed about. You... you're very normal in your abnormality. - Jen

Jen: Can we turn this back to Joey? She's more screwed up than me.
Joey: Hey.

You know, maybe we could bring Jack up here for some humiliation. - Joey

Jen: Audrey, how would you like to see him up close and personal?
Audrey: [accepting the microphone from Jen] Are you saying what I think you're saying?
Jen: Yes. Take over the hosting duties.
Audrey: Oh. I thought you wanted me to sing. Oh, well, a gig's a gig. Thanks!

Okay, people, since our lovely hostess with the mostess Jen Lindley, picked now to have a mental breakdown, I'll be your Ricki Lake for the rest of the evening. Now, who's got the next question? You! Up top! Funny shaped head. What do you got? - Audrey

Good god, son! Are you still harpin' on there? Why don't you give the girl a break? Have you taken a look at her lately? You're lucky a chick that hot let's you get naked in the same building she's in. You gotta move on. - Adam

You're worse than Jen. Or maybe you two have been hanging out so long you've just become the same person. - David

She's sick. My grams is sick. And she has been keeping it from me. And it's the reason that she broke up with your Uncle Bill and... and I don't know what else she's been keeping from me. I don't know what's gonna happen. I don't know what I'm gonna do. I don't know anything about anything and so I ha... I had a freak-out, one freak-out. Is that... okay? - Jen

Dr. Drew: Oh, you're an actress?
Audrey: Well... I am. But... even more so in life, I guess, than in art. I have a bit of a flair for the dramatic.
Dr. Drew: You don't say.

Episode 20 Catch-22

Audrey: After my long and protracted battle, a serious substance abuse problem, the heartless administration of this esteemed university is gonna kick me out!
Eddie: That seems pretty harsh.
Audrey: I know.
Joey: Audrey, this is just a letter from the dean saying if you sign up for summer school you can stay.
Audrey: The dean can bite me, Jo.

Joey: Where are you going?
Audrey: To negotiate.
Joey: I don't think this is negotiable.
Audrey: Everything is negotiable.

Sadia: And this other girl, well, she doesn't know what she's missing.
Pacey: Well, like I said, she's in a past life. And I'm quite happy with the life I'm leading. And as they say, I always have my work.
Sadia: And then there's me.
Pacey: And then there's you. Which is proof positive that there is, in fact, a God. And that Pacey J. Witter is his favorite son.

Okay, well, how about this? You just trust me and I promise that everything will be alright. Have I ever let you down in the past? Actually, you know what, don't answer that. - Pacey

Professor Hetson: Do you honestly think I'm ever gonna let you into one of my classes again?
Joey: No. Do you honestly think I'm ever gonna sign up for one of your classes again?

So there is a soul in there somewhere. And to think I just assumed you were another one of Rich Rinaldi's pet sharks. - Sadia

Look, but... my point is, is that I don't think that everybody meets the love of their life when they're a teenager. Or when they're 25 or... or even when they're 35. But... that doesn't mean that you stop looking and hoping, you know. 'Cause you will meet that person and when you do, I guess you know it. - Jen

Jen: You know, I'd... I'd share him with you if I could.
Jack: Thanks, but that's not necessary.

Maybe people can't change. Maybe we're doomed to repeat the same mistakes over and over again no matter how hard we try. - Eddie

Episode 21 Goodbye, Yellow Brick Road

You're part of this now. So welcome to Hollywood. Where people have meaningless titles for not even showing up on set. - Dawson

Grams: Jennifer, just don't pull your speed-talking technique on me. You had no right to invite that woman into my house.
Jen: That wo... will you calm down and remember that we're all related?

Audrey: Now I know that this is new to you but behold the wrath of the Hollywood offspring. But Jack's a smart guy. Aren't you, Jack?
Jack: I'm smart enough to know if my integrity is being questioned by a couple of uptight wenches.

Acts of love do not require repayment. - Grams

Joey: It wasn't easy.
Dawson: What wasn't?
Joey: Not talking to you. Maybe it seemed like it was. And I guess it just... became routine, just another thing that I didn't do. Well, like... shooting heroine or driving drunk.
Dawson: Wow, I'm up there with the dangerous activities.
Joey: Or casual sex. Dawson, for so long, you were the only person in the whole world I wanted to be with. Then somehow you became my only one-night stand.

You grew up, Dawson. You grew up. - Joey

I think sometimes... you have to lose somebody completely before you can figure out what they really mean to you. - Dawson

Mrs. Lindley: (to Jack) So how did you and Jennifer meet?
Jack: Oh. No, I'm... I'm Jack, Mrs. Lindley.
Mrs. Lindley: Yes, I know that.
Jack: Yeah. Well, this is, um... [taps CJ] this is Jen's boyfriend here.
Mrs. Lindley: Oh, I'm sorry. You're not?
Jack: No. No. I'm... I'm the gay one.

Mrs. Lindley: Well, I've only just figured out now which one is your boyfriend.
CJ: Well, that's because Jack acts like a boyfriend.
Jack: Well, technically. Technically, I am her boyfriend.
Jen: Technically, you're not my boyfriend. You don't sleep with me.
CJ: Is that the only difference between us?

I don't know, Grams told me that she has breast cancer and it... and it was just like the whole world melted away. But I had... thousand questions in my head of how am I going to take care of her and how much time do we have. Bill, I think you're right. I mean, Grams, you can't try and be a rock here because it's... it's not making you any happier or any better, and it's not making your life any easier. So I... I just feel like the best thing for you to do right now is just to be around your family. - Jen

Pacey: Man, and we were just gettin' back to bein' friends, too. It's such a shame to ruin that.
Dawson: What are you talking about? What would ruin it?
Pacey: Money. Money would ruin it.
Dawson: Wha... What happened?
Pacey: It's gone. Your money's gone, my money's gone, some guy on Long Island's money is gone...
Dawson: What do you mean gone? That was all the money that I had.

Dawson: Ah, damn it, Pacey, this... you're always tryin' to do the right thing. You're always... so... eager to be the hero, you never quite see all the pieces of the puzzle.
Pacey: Dawson, you came to me with your dream because you thought I could help make something of it and somehow this comes back yet again to the fact that I screwed you over?

Dawson: You wanna know why we're not friends, Pace? It's not because of what happened with Joey, even though that turned my world upside down. It's because from that day forward, I realized that you hadn't been my friend for... maybe quite some time. 'Cause the second you made us competitors...
Pacey: That I made us competitors? No, no. Now... now you're re-writing history, Dawson.
Dawson: I remember when my best friend had a choice and chose to turn his back on me. If you'd ever stopped settin' us up against each other, you would've realized that you and I are not that far apart.
Pacey: Ah, spare me the speech. You are not gonna convince me that our world’s... are anything alike. You're just upset because I broke outta mine.
Dawson: Broke out of yours? How? By putting on a suit and slavin' away at something that doesn't even interest you? You made money. Congratulations. You impressed us all.
Pacey: How dare you? You know nothing about me, man. I was good at my job.
Dawson: Then why am I broke?
Pacey: Because that's life! I didn't make that choice! I have lost, literally, everything! What do you want from me, man? Does this make you happy? That you're back on top now? I mean, you always liked it better when you were in charge, so is this what you wanted? Does this make it all right?
Dawson: You don't wanna know me, Pace. You wrote me off a long time ago.
Pacey: Really? Really? When? Back when we were the best of friends? When we were brothers? Was I just outta the house every time you tried to call me over the last three years?

Joey: Things never change here, do they?
Pacey: No. Because these are the roles we were destined to play.
Joey: No, Pace, these are the roles we chose to play. Look at us, sitting out here on this dock in front of the same house we've been hunting for years. We're practically ghosts of our former selves. And honestly, I don't think anyone really remembers what they're mad about anymore.
Pacey: Mm, I wouldn't be so sure about that.

Joey: God, can't you ever tell the difference?
Pacey: I don't know. I don't know. Because you and I have had a very confusing run of things, especially lately.
Joey: Okay. You know, and no matter how much I love you or how long I stay with you, you're only gonna remember the moments when I leave.
Pacey: Well, you gotta give me that much because... those are pretty much the most painful moments in my life.
Joey: That's because you ask for them, Pacey. I'm sorry, you do. Your whole life, you spend so much time expecting the worst that you don't even notice the moments when people are loving you. And Pacey, people spend a lot of time loving you.
Pacey: Well, with all due respect, Jo, my best friend just walked away from me. But that's not even the worst of it. The worst thing is, he hasn't even really known me for the last three years. So please, clarify that for me. How does that qualify me as a man with a support network?
Joey: Well, you have a person sitting right here, don't you? But of course, that's not enough. Not until you let it.
Pacey: In what world do I have you?
Joey: No. Look, just because I don't fit into that... place you want me to doesn't mean there's not a place for me, Pacey.

Jack: Jen, you just... you gotta realize that, you know, you and Grams are pretty much all the family that I've got.
Jen: I know. Do you remember that time that I went over to your house after Grams kicked me out?
Jack: Yeah, how could I forget? That's the day you became my hag.
Jen: No, we're family. It doesn't change.

Jack: Well, I promise that I will come and see the two of you every chance that I get.
Grams: Oh, that won't be necessary.
Jack: Okay.
Grams: Well, I mean, you don't honestly believe Jennifer and I are gonna leave you to your own questionable devices, do you?
Jack: What are you talking about?
Jen: What?
Grams: Well, my daughter simply rattling around that big house she got through the divorce and I think we need a man around the house. I mean, you'll have to share a room with Jennifer...
Jack: Okay, Grams, come on. I... I... I just can't, you know, pick up and... and leave this place. Come on, guys, I have stuff... going on, you know? I mean, besides, what am I gonna do, mooch off the two of you for the rest of our lives?
Grams: Certainly not. You'll be earning your keep.
Jen: I mean, what's really keeping you here, Jack?
Grams: Yes, what's really keeping you here, Jack? Last I heard, Bean Town had no great hold on you.
Jen: You can be an apathetic student anywhere. And Boston Bay sucks.
Jack: Yeah, Boston Bay does suck. That's... that's why I said, you know, we should have... we should have gone to New... New York.
Jen: There you go. You've been saying it all along.
Grams: Eh. Well?
Jen: Yeah, come on. This... this place doesn't appreciate your absolutely fabulous gayness.
Grams: What do you say?
Jack: What do I say? What... what do I say? Well, what do you say? You say, um... you say how I can I turn down living with three generations of crazies on the Upper West Side? That’s what I say.

Episode 22 Joey Potter And Capeside Redemption

Joey: Dawson, you have the chance to do something great here and I can't let you pass that up. I've been authorized to use force if necessary.
Dawson: Happen to bring your $18,000 with you?
Joey: No, I forgot that

Joey: Dawson leery, you are going to let all these details get in the way? Would they stop Spielberg?
Dawson: I don't know. I don't recall anything in his bio about his best friend squandering all of his money.
Joey: Pacey messed up. No one's denying that. But it wasn't intentional, Dawson.
Dawson: It never is, Jo. Never is. But it happens every single time and I don't need it anymore.

Joey: Look I refuse to believe it has to end this way.
Dawson: Well, believe it, Jo, 'cause I pretty much never want to see the guy as long as I live.
Joey: You know what? I know you don't mean that.
Dawson: Yeah, I do.

Audrey: What about me? What can I do? Anything. Anything at all to distract me from the sheer hellish boredom of summer school.
Joey: Page 12.
Audrey: Miss Jacobs?
Joey: That's right.
Audrey: The old broad?
Joey: The one and the same.
Audrey: What about her?
Joey: Well, I'm yanking you out of early retirement to bring her life to the screen.
Audrey: Wait a second, let me get this straight. You want me to play the slutty teacher that... that robbed Pacey of his delicate flower?
Joey: Do you have a problem with that?

Joey: Look, I need you. Dawson needs you.
Pacey: Okay, here's the most crucial thing that you're going to have to get through that pretty little head of yours, things will never be the same between Dawson and me. Or any of us for that matter. And you're just going to have to accept that.
Joey: I don’t. And I never will.
Pacey: Okay. That's fine. Be cheery and delightful, and whatever else it is you want to be. I really don't care.

Jen: I'll go out with you. It's what you want, right? But just coffee, okay? No funny business.
Salesperson: Yeah. Thanks for that. But I'm not really interested.
Jen: What are you talking about? I'm a film geek's dream.
Salesperson: Not this film geek. (to Jack) How you doin'?

Ooh. I get to play Miss Jacobs. You know, the woman who seduces a young boy on the verge of manhood. I do have some notes, however. - Audrey

Yeah, Dawson, you have no idea what I went through to get this stuff. - Jack

Joey: But? No. There are no buts, Dawson. All you have to do is shoot the movie, just like you were going to do a week ago. And if you're telling me that you don't believe in friendship anymore, I am going to throw you out that window.
Dawson: No, it's not that. I mean, I have to work. I have a job.
Mrs. Leery: Oh, no, you don’t. You're fired.
Dawson: What?
Mrs. Leery: It's my restaurant, Dawson. I'm firing you. Case closed.

I'm really flattered by your faith in my culinary abilities but I can't do it today. I got other things to do. But I left all the fixings out for you and you really do owe it to yourself as a modern bachelor to develop some sort of rudimentary cooking skills. And chicks dig that kind of thing. [walks out the door then pokes his head back in]] And you know, those other guys, too. They like it. - Pacey

Joey: Can I have five minutes alone with this guy?
Patrick: You don't know how long I dreamed of hearing you say that.

Joey: And if it doesn't work?
Dawson: Uh, bribery.
Joey: Dawson, we don't have any money.
Dawson: No, we do have an abundance of hot girls, which are as good as currency in many countries.

Hey, without chaos, there'd be no happy accidents. - Dawson

Alright, listen up people, chop, chop! This man here has a movie to make. And we are gonna make it for him or die trying. - Todd

Joey: I need you to chop this up and serve it to Todd. You are his new personal assistant.
Audrey: I've been wrapped for the day. Can't you find someone else to do it? Someone who's not number one on the call sheet?
Joey: No. Come on. Get up. There are divas out there more impossible than you who require our immediate attention.

Christy: You don't remember me, do you?
Pacey: No, but I really wish I did.
Christy: Well, you sure changed your a lot since this morning.
Pacey: The receptionist from the dentist's office, of course. I'm sorry.
Christy: No, no. You really don't remember me. Oh, come on, from high school? I mean, it's kind of a blow to my ego. You used to follow me around everywhere. Oh, how pathetic but... now here we are, five years later and it's like you don't even know who I am.

Jen: What is this feeling? It just seems like everything's getting smaller and smaller. It's all still there but I just can't touch it.
Jack: I think it's called goodbye.

Joey: Wasn't that..?
Pacey: Christy Livingstone, yes, it was.
Joey: Talking to you?
Pacey: Talkin' to me. In fact, flirting with me. She gave me her phone number. Hah. You know what this means, right? You know, Christy, she's like, uh...
Joey: Metaphor. I know. She represents all of the high school girls you thought you'd never be able to have because you were such a loser.
Pacey: Exactly.
Joey: And the fact that all the normal girls who haven't been surgically enhanced--girls like me and Jen, and Audrey, and Andie--the fact that we've spent every second of the past five years telling you that you weren't a loser, that means nothing to you?
Pacey: I... I'm sorry, you lost me there in the middle. Maybe I should explain the whole metaphor thing again.
Joey: Why am I even talking to you?

Pacey: Hey.
Dawson: Hey. What are you doin' here?
Pacey: Uh, the same thing you are, I'd suppose.
Dawson: Uh, actually, I came here to m...
Pacey: Meet with Joey? Yeah, so did I.
Dawson: I get it. Joey Potter, amateur peace broker.

Pacey: You said some pretty crappy things the other day.
Dawson: Yeah. So did you.
Pacey: Yes, I did. And I meant them, 100 percent.
Dawson: I know, so did I, Pace. And that's the thing, I don't know how we get past that.
Pacey: Well, maybe we don’t. Maybe that's the point that we just don't get past it. We realize that... we can't go back to the way things used to be and there's nothing we can do about that. 'Cause the guys that we are now are worlds apart from the guys that we were back then. The only tie that really binds us together is the fact that we still love the same woman.
Dawson: It always comes back to that, doesn't it?
Pacey: Yes, it does. Yes, it does. And you know what, I don't really regret a single second that I spent with her. And I'm guessing you don't either. In fact, I really consider us pretty lucky, that a... a woman like that would give either one of us the time of day.
Dawson: You know, it makes sense.
Pacey: What does?
Dawson: Why it never worked out for either one of us. All we wanted was her. So much so that we destroyed our friendship. And in the end, all she ever wanted was for us to be friends again.
Pacey: Okay, I'm gonna ask you this once and then I promise you I'll never ask it again. Is it possible?
Dawson: For us to be friends again? [long pause] Anything's possible.
Pacey: Fair enough.

Dawson's Creek Season 5 Classics

To say that I love the show is an understatement. I love Pacey more than I loved any boyfriend who graced my boring existence. I guess that's why I'm still single. I haven't met my Pacey. Not that I'm complaining.

Here are some lines, mostly Pacey's, that made me smile, cry, laugh, swoon, giggle, and a host of other emotions. You gotta admit the hilarity of some lines make you feel all of those. Wait, it's a drama series? Hah! Sometimes the story sucks and the lines illogical but hey, I love the show, period.

Episode 1 The Bostonians

Jack: These guys are hot.
Jen: Give me the phone.
Jack: Why?
Jen: I’m calling Tobey and telling him you said that.
Jack: I can look.
Jen: Yeah, but you cannot. I like Tobey. Tobey's good people.

Look, you need to get some, and soon, alright, before you achieve born-again virgin status. - Jack

Jack: You know you're a lot more fun when you're with a guy. Watching you twist yourself up into these little knots of anxiety, it's highly entertaining.
Jen: Thanks. That's good to know.

Jack: You didn't think that guy was hot?
Jen: Sure, in a dumb-guy-with-a-dream kinda way.

Audrey: Couldn't you just maybe go to the library for a little while?
Joey: Do you have any idea how much time I’ve spent sex-iled in the library already this semester? It's barely October.
Audrey: Please? Pretty please and just so you know, I'm totally planning on making myself scarce once your beau gets here.
Joey: First of all, he's not my beau. And second of all, he's not coming.
Audrey: Dumpston's not coming?
Joey: Dawson.

Audrey: Hey! Have you ever had an orgasm?
Joey: Excuse me?
Audrey: Have you ever had an orgasm?
Joey: Not something I particularly like to discuss with a near stranger.
Audrey: Me? A near stranger? I am your roommate, Joey. As such, I reserve the right to raise such topics as oral sex, feminine hygiene and orgasm.

Joey: You broke up already?
Audrey: Yes. He tried to talk me into a threesome. I may be easy, but I’m not sleazy. We’re through.

Audrey: I’m afraid for you, Joey.
Joey: What are you talking about?
Audrey: I’m afraid that you’re not having the proper college experience.
Joey: I appreciate the concern, but...
Audrey: No, it’s just... you study, you know, a lot. And you never wanna go out with me.

Pacey: So tell me, what’s the latest scuttlebutt?
Jen: Ay. It’s Bora Bora, where apparently you’ve gone Kurtz.
Pacey: Ooh.
Jen: I hypothesized over that you were in fact here. But I think that everybody likes to imagine a far more exotic locale.
Pacey: And Joey?
Jen: And Joey likes to imagine you’re happy.
Pacey: Which I am.

Joey: I'm assuming I can skip the introductions.
Audrey: Totally. Let me get you up to speed. Jen is my new best friend. And Jack will hereto for be known as Joey’s very cute guy friend.
Jen: Oh, no. No, he’s Joey's very cute gay friend.
Audrey: No, really?
Jack: Pretty gay.
Audrey: And there’s nothing we can do about this?
Jack: Well, I have been kissed by two of the finest female specimens this world has to offer, and that didn’t do it.
Audrey: Both of you girls kissed this boy? That is just so unfair.

Todd: Look, you’re like what, 18?
Dawson: Yeah.
Todd: Chances are, it’s bad. And if I take a look at it and it does indeed suck, than I have to come up with some sort of BS so you don’t feel bad. And if on the off chance it’s actually good, what do I need that for? Why would I wanna be jealous of some 18-year old kid that makes better flicks than I do? Do you see my predicament?

You’ve got balls, kid. Now get off my set. You’re fired. - Todd

Joey: Okay, Jen. Are you gonna tell me his name or am I gonna have to kill you?
Jen: Shh... let’s try and not wake the dragon lady here.
Joey: Jen? Jen?
Jen: Charlie. Okay? His name is Charlie.
Joey: Charlie’s cute.
Jen: Whatever.
Jack: In a dumb-guy-with-a-dream kind of way.
Jen: Charlie’s not dumb.
Jack: Oh, someone’s smitten!

Grams: Ah, nonsense. I can sleep when I’m dead. So, how was your party?
Jen: Fine.
Joey: Jen met a boy.
Jack: Charlie. And he’s not dumb.
Grams: Well... praise the Lord and pass the sugar. And I say, it’s about time.

Episode 2 The Lost Weekend

Jack: The guy will find you and when he does, just throw yourself at him immediately because you obviously want to.
Jen: Whether I want to or not, nice girls do not hurl themselves at boys, Jack. Society at large deems that slutty and self-destructive.
Jack: That’s right, I forgot, you’re a slut. Only you haven’t actually had sex with anybody the entire time that I've known you. And if you look at the cold hard facts, I've kissed more guys than you have this past year.
Jen: Well, that’s not true.
Jack: I’ve kissed one. How many have you kissed?
Jen: One.
Jack: How many straight guys?
Jen: Okay, I... none.

Dawson: You know, it’s probably best that Joey and I are apart right now. If we spend the whole afternoon together we'll just end up saying something that we'd regret.
Audrey: Like?
Dawson: Like why I'm letting this girl ruin my life.
Audrey: Oh.
Dawson: I’m sorry, I should not be discussing this with you.
Audrey: No, hey, you don’t have to apologize to me. I live with the girl.

Charlie: Well, Jen, I guess I've learned in my vast experience that people tend to feel pretty low energy Monday mornings.
Jen: Hmm... And why is that exactly?
Charlie: Because... they generally gone out on the weekend and done something they regret.
Jen: Or not done something they regret. It is possible, you'll agree with me here, to feel more regretful for the things that you haven’t done than the things that you have, like say, failing to get somebody's phone number the first time you meet them?
Charlie: Well, Jen, you're right, that would be a tragedy. Unless the girl, excuse me, woman, involved, had blown you off pretty majorly, and apparently had a boyfriend? Tall, good-looking, dark hair...
Jen: Oh, I see. So what you're running here is a radio program for mopey straight guys who are easily threatened by obviously gay men in Abercrombie sweaters.

Pacey: Okay, okay, look, if I go see this guy, will you get off my case?
Doug: Nothing would make me happier, little brother.

Audrey: Answer the question that's on everyone’s mind. Is USC all it’s cracked up to be?
Dawson: That’s the question on everybody’s mind? What kind of circles are you traveling in?
Audrey: Oh, the Jen-Jack-Joey ones.

I came here from a small town, I like to knit, and I live with my grandmother. - Jen

Pacey: What are you doing?
Melanie: I’m paying the check.
Pacey: Why?
Melanie: Because you don’t have a job.
Pacey: You don’t have a job either.
Melanie: No, but I have a credit card and an allowance, and a trust fund. What, you’d rather pretend I don’t?

Jen: Oh, shoot, shoot, shoot! Hey, hey, why... why did you let me fall asleep?
Charlie: I wasn’t aware we were conducting some sort of vigil.

Karen: This place? Awful. But you know, people are nice and I don’t mean the customers.
Pacey: Yeah, that Danny guy seems pretty cool, I guess.
Karen: Thinks he’s a rock star. They all do. Everyone who works in the kitchen. Chicks dig him in a big way. What am I telling you for? It’s probably why you showed up here to begin with.
Pacey: As it turns out, I'm kind of a one-woman man. Provided she's the right kind.
Karen: And what kind is that?
Pacey: Well, for starters, it’s the kind that doesn't smoke.
Karen: Ouch! You really know how to hurt a girl.

Episode 3 Capeside Revisited

Audrey: This place got an amazing write-up in Time Out Boston. I'm really glad I decided to tag along.
Joey: You mean invite yourself?
Audrey: Will you stop? Nobody believes that you don't adore me.

Audrey: So do we like this Charlie?
Joey: We don't really know this Charlie. She seems to keep this Charlie pretty much to herself.

Audrey: See, that's what I miss most about not having a boyfriend. The snuggling. It's better than sex. If only guys knew how easy it was to make us happy.
Joey: Yeah, but you know what? Even if they did know, they'd still screw it up. Snuggling to them is merely just a means to an end.
Jen: I mean, I've been seeing Charlie for a week and, alright, the only thing that I really know about him is that his boxers are from the Gap.
Audrey: Well, there are worse things, you know?
Jen: Such as?
Audrey: Well, for instance, he could be a tighty-whitey guy.
Joey: Oh!
Jen: Oh, good point!
Joey: Okay, on that note, I'm gonna go to the bathroom. And when I get back, I'd like it very much if this week's episode of Sex and the City had come to an end.
Jen: Okay, Charlotte.

Dawson: Maybe I should just give it more time.
Grams: Because of your busy schedule?
Dawson: Because I... I don't even know what I'm gonna tell them.
Grams: The truth will set you free.
Dawson: The truth will tick them off.

You love academia because of the rules and you hate relationships because of the lack of them. - Audrey

Relationships are messy, that's their nature. They start messy and they end messy, and if you ever wanna have another relationship in your life, you better just stop worrying about the mess. - Audrey

Blossom: There comes a point in every man's life when he has to ask himself that one fundamental question--am I in or am I out?
Jack: Yeah. Yeah, I've asked myself that question, actually, and I think you guys really need to know the answer. I'm gay.
Blossom: You thought we didn't know that?

Jen: You can't base a relationship purely on sex.
Charlie: Now, you see, I beg to differ. Sex is a pretty big thing to have in common. I mean, what exactly are we trying to prove here? What possible reason could there be for two intelligent, responsible people who just happen to have an overwhelming physical attraction for each other to deny that attraction?

Jen: You are totally nearsighted, aren't you?
Charlie: I'm not nearsighted. I just... I just can't read really teeny things far away.
Jen: Like, I don't know, um, subtitles?
Charlie: Yes. Subtitles, alright? I hate subtitles because I can't read them without my glasses. You satisfied?

There is no right or wrong, just the consequences of your actions. - Joey

Episode 4 The Long Goodbye

Let the things you love be your escape. - Mr. Leery

Grams: Why don't you let me take her for a while, dear?
Dawson: I'm afraid I can't do that, Grams. Lily here offers a great buffer. As long as I'm holding her, people tend not to come up to me and offer their platitudes.

Dawson: So, what's yours?
Grams: My what?
Dawson: Your platitude.
Grams: I'm afraid I'm freshed out.
Dawson: Really? I thought for sure you'd whip out 'the Lord works in mysterious ways.'
Grams: The Lord and I, we... we aren't on speaking terms this week.

Dawson: You know, times like this I really wish I was more of a drug person but I don't know, starting up just seems like such a hassle.
Jen: Yeah, plus you can't really score any good dope in Capeside.

Dawson: Remember the time he caught us smoking out here?
Pacey: Yeah. I, uh, of course I remember. Sixth grade, right? I don't think I've ever seen your father so mad. Being Mitch, he had to tell us that he was just concerned for us, which was a bit of a surprise to me because if it was my father, it'd be kind of a different story. In fact, I guarantee I'd still be smoking to this day just to piss him off.

Grams: You know, every night for 46 years, I prayed the good Lord would take me first. I never wanted to go on without him. I didn't think I was capable of it. But somehow, I was. It wasn't easy but inevitably there comes a day that isn't as bad as the one before it.
Mrs. Leery: And until then?
Grams: Well, that's what prescription medication is for... Oh, it's a strange thing we do.
Mrs. Leery: What's that?
Grams: Falling in love. You share your life with another person. You... you give them your heart to the extent that losing them could... potentially destroy you. Crazy thing to do.
Mrs. Leery: You're right. It's insane.
Grams: Then why on earth do we do it?
Mrs. Leery: What else is there?

When I go, I wanna go in a way in which it makes everybody laugh. You know, like, no matter how sudden or tragic the circumstances, you just can't help but laugh. Like gettin' run over by a car full of clowns, that's kinda funny, right? - Pacey

It's not you, Dawson. Do not blame yourself for this. You wanna grieve? You go right ahead. Be my guest. But do not for one single second think that this is your fault. Because it is not your fault. You got your father for 18 years and that is a hell of a lot more than some people get. And your father did one hell of a job, Dawson. He made you into a man. And he made you into a man that people care about, and admire and respect, and most importantly, love. So, why am I doing this? I'm doing this because, once upon a time, you and I were best friends. And that means that whenever you need me, I'm here, any time, anywhere, any place. Forever. You understand that? - Pacey

Episode 5 Four Scary Stories

Grams: Now then, a truly scary story should hit you where you live, find you in a safe place, and turn it into a den of nightmares.
Pacey: Okay. Mission accomplished, Mrs. Ryan, 'cause I'm starting to feel a little freaked out.

Jack: So, I guess this is, uh, typically the time of night that we... go to sleep.
Pacey: Well, hey, don't let us stop you. Unless, of course, you're too afraid to go upstairs by yourself.
Jack: Yeah. Unless of course, you're... you're too scared to go to that creepy little floating house of yours.

Joey: Can we just go before it strikes midnight and Grams emerges looking for her lost head?
Jack: See, I knew the Grams thing runs deep. I knew it.

Episode 6 Use Your Disillusion

Audrey: So, every morning, when you go out for a jog, you’re actually...
Joey: Jogging, yes.
Audrey: You’re not just ditching me to go have some iced cap frappy thing by yourself? Because you realize, I never would have signed on for this little bonding session if I thought that real exercise was involved.

What are you so nervous about? It’s just Dawson. You guys have like known each other since you were... placenta. - Audrey

Wow! Congratulations! That's... I've no idea what that means. - Joey

You think it’s too late to transfer into his class? - Audrey

Save it, because I can smell the male bonding from behind the door. And the odor is pungent. - Karen

Pacey: I'm tellin' you, Karen, she is smart, she is feisty... I can definitely feel the love connection.
Jen: Oh, yeah? Is she flirting with you?
Pacey: Well, if we were to go back to the third grade definition of flirting.
Jen: Hair-pulling, name calling, general nastiness?
Pacey: Yes. If that's the definition, then we definitely got it goin' on.

Jen: What’s he like?
Pacey: Oh, he’s just like me, only older.
Jen: Wait, your mentor, the guy who can supposedly guide you through your life is, is just an older version of you?
Pacey: Yup.
Jen: So what you’re saying is that when you grow up, you basically wanna be yourself?
Pacey: Yeah. I’m very well-adjusted.

Jack: Don’t do that, alright? Don’t... don't... get all girlfriend-y on me.
Tobey: You know, I’m gonna pretend I didn’t hear that last comment.

When I first moved to Capeside, okay, everyone got to know me as... as Andie’s brother. And then it was Joey's artist boyfriend. And then I told everyone I was gay and suddenly, for the rest of high school, that's all I was--Jack, the gay guy. - Jack

Jack: I did it. I'm officially a brother. Whoo!
Jen: Congratulations. You officially sucks.

Episode 7 High Anxiety

Dawson: Am I going crazy?
Dr. Reiss: You're not crazy, Dawson. Stress manifests itself in all kinds of ways and anything as significant as the loss of a parent could easily trigger what you're experiencing.

Joey: Do you need me to take you to the health center?
Audrey: What? No, why?
Joey: You're cleaning.
Audrey: Oh, right, right, I get it. That's a joke, right? Wow, Joey Potter made a joke. Maybe I should take you to the health center.
Joey: Seriously, what is with this Martha Stewart routine?
Audrey: My mother.
Joey: What about her?
Audrey: She's in town for a day and she's coming to visit.
Joey: You mean I get to meet the woman responsible for bringing you into this world? This should be fun.

We're talking about a woman here, so self-involved and insecure that she used to borrow my clothes and hit on my boyfriends. She's like a menace to society, an enemy of daughters everywhere. Brace yourself, Jo, something wicked this way comes. - Audrey

Audrey: I can't believe you told her she looks like my sister.
Joey: What was I supposed to say? And I have to admit she does look young.
Audrey: Yeah, thanks to her two best friends, collagen and botox.

Dawson: Alright, where are you going?
Jen: Um, nowhere.
Dawson: You look pretty smokin' for a girl who's going nowhere.

Jen: Who are you?
Nora: I'm Charlie’s girlfriend. Who are you?
Jen: I'm Charlie’s girlfriend.

Joey: You know what, Mrs. Liddell?
Mrs. Liddell: Uh, Kay, please.
Joey: You know what, Kay, um, I've sat here this entire meal and listened to you do nothing but cut down on your daughter. And I don't know if you're just upset with her because she's not what you want her to be or because she's 18 and you're not. Audrey may be dramatic but at least she's never boring. And she may be interested in a lot of different things but that just makes her well-rounded. And as far as discipline goes, she obviously has a great deal because no matter what you seem to say to her, she somehow manages to grin and bear it. As you can see, I don't really have that kind of discipline. Audrey, let's go, there's a party.

Can you believe that he thought that he could actually talk us into a threesome? I mean, no offense, you're really beautiful. It's just not my scene. - Jen

Joey: Hey, what are you guys doing?
Pacey: Oh, your roommate's hittin' on me.
Audrey: Am not!
Pacey: You are, too.
Audrey: You wish.
Pacey: Hey, I just call 'em like I see 'em, lady.
Audrey: You better watch it 'cause I might just... have to... put a hole on your boat later or something.

Pacey: You got him drunk?
Jack: Yeah, he had a few beers at the house. Why?
Pacey: Well, I kinda thought that the objective was to make him feel better, sober.
Jack: I kinda thought the object here was to make him feel better, period.

Mrs. Liddell:: You don't want me to visit anymore?
Audrey: Okay, well, that would be awesome but that's not gonna happen. So... I don't know... let's just... let's try to be good to each other, okay? 'Cause I know I might be a spoiled brat but quite frankly, I'm the only one you've got. And you may be a raging psychotic but you're my raging psychotic. Do you know what I mean?

You defendeded my honor, Joey. That and you took me to a party. For once, I didn't have to invite myself along. - Audrey

Karen: What's wrong?
Pacey: Um, nothing, I was just noticing that necklace. It's nice.
Karen: Oh, thanks.
Pacey: Is it new?
Karen: No, my grandmother’s. You know, passed down through generations. Thought I lost it the other night, my mother would not have been pleased.
Pacey: Yeah, I can imagine.

Episode 8 Text, Lies And Videotape

Dawson: You never felt ridiculous…blathering on about your problems to a total stranger?
Jen: No more ridiculous than I feel about blathering on to no one on the radio.
Dawson: Hey, it’s not true. I listen.
Jen: You and Grams.

Audrey: Okay, I'm having problems with the tone of the tape though. Do I go for vamp, vixen or all-out slut?
Joey: Well, just as long as you're planning on representing all the colors of the rainbow.

Pacey: You see, now here, it's been months, and I've never actually seen the guy. How is that possible?
Karen: Well, it's like I said, he's got a really crazy schedule.
Pacey: Hmm. And when he's not standing you up, does he ever take you any place special? I don't know, maybe Boston Harbor, gigantic sailboat?
Karen: So, what? He told you?
Pacey: No, he didn't tell me. It's my boat. All this time you've been complaining to me about your boyfriend and here I've been stupid enough to actually have sympathy for you.
Karen: Who asked you to have sympathy for me?
Pacey: You didn't ask me to have sympathy and believe me I've been trying not to.
Karen: So, what, you're just gonna lay your little guilt trip on me now? You don't know anything about my life, Pacey.
Pacey: What I know is that this relationship is gonna bring you nothing but grief. And I also know that I had to look his wife in the eyes and lie, for you. Believe me, that was not too enjoyable.
Karen: Yeah. Well, you know, in the real world, sometimes people actually have to do things that are not so enjoyable, and accept things that are a little less than perfect, and compromise for reasons that sometimes people are too immature to comprehend. In which case, they should just stay the hell out of it.

Joey: I mean, people can be friends, right? Best friends. But the second sexual attraction comes into it, it's like, all bets are off as far as honesty is concerned.
Professor Wilder: So you don't think people can be both friends and lovers?
Joey: I do. I hope I do but... not at 18.

Dawson: She asked me to come three times a week.
Jen: Good.
Dawson: Good? My lack of mental health is good?

Danny: You know, I'm so sorry you're gonna be stuck back here all night. I mean, I feel like the wicked stepmother that's keeping you from the ball.
Pacey: I think my inner princess will get over it.

If he were here and we could ask him, we'd probably find out that all those reasons were more about him. His hopes, his expectations. And just because he died, doesn't mean that he gets to win the argument. - Dr. Weir

See, if you can feel comfortable... not knowing, you can learn anything, anything. And if not, well, then you've stopped before you've begun. - Professor Wilder

Karen: He just... he kissed her... right there in front of me, like I wasn't even there.
Pacey: Well, public kissing is one of the traditional benefits of marriage.

Episode 9 Hotel New Hampshire

You're talking to the king of directionless himself. What do you think I was doing with all those years of high school folly? I was perfecting the life without purpose. - Pacey

Dawson: Well... for what it's worth, the Pacey I know would... figure out a way to help the girl, no matter what the drama.
Pacey: Is that so?
Dawson: Without a doubt.

Joey: So, where's Jack?
Jen: Deep in the land of frat.

Jack: Alright, alright, alright! I may know a girl that meets the specified requirements.
Eric: Hey! I got dibs on whatever this guy's got. Okay, I've seen these quality chicks Mcphee hangs with.

Oh, and don't worry, the duplicitous sleazebag formerly known as our boyfriend Charlie is not here today. - Jen

Jen: I want corny love letters. I just don't understand why he chose her, not me. Is there something wrong with me?
Dawson: Jen, there's nothing wrong with you.
Jen: It's just, all this time, I thought he was cheating on us on equal ground, you know, but... no, she got to be the girlfriend and I was just the... floozie.
Dawson: Floozie?
Jen: Yeah.
Dawson: Jen, floozie?
Jen: It's what I am. A floozie.

Granted, the people of this town are a little... off, but who can deny that we could both use the love? And what better way to spend an evening than as girlfriend to the biggest celebrity in town? - Jen

Jen: Okay, this has gotta stop.
Dawson: What's gotta stop?
Jen: This. The people of this town are perfectly nice. And you blaming them for bad taste is obviously just a way to undermine your own artistic abilities. And you have a tremendous talent, so would you please stop putting yourself down? Or I'll have to break up with you.
Dawson: You can't break up with me. You'll never break up with me. The physical attraction is far too strong.
Jen: You got me there, tiger.

Oliver: Hi. You're really pretty.
Jen: Who's gonna argue?

Pacey: Did you sleep with me to get back at Brecher? You did, didn't you?
Karen: It's not that simple.
Pacey: No, it is that simple.

Oliver: You know, you really piss me off, Leery. I mean, I... I used to take pride in thinking that I was the only geek in America that knew who A.I. Brooks was. Seriously, though, man, your flick is fantastic. I'm blown away.
Dawson: Thank you.
Oliver: You know... you're not half the goon I thought you were.
Dawson: I'm not a, uh, Hollywood slickster?
Oliver: Okay, I... I can get a little carried away sometimes.

Dawson: Jen, this is Oliver.
Jen: Oh, yeah. Your movie was fantastic.
Oliver: Thanks. Um, and you're still really pretty.
Jen: Thank you.
Oliver: You know, I was just about to tell Dawson how lucky he is. Yeah, you guys make a great couple.
Dawson: Well, thank you.
Jen: Very much.

Jen: Did you hear that, baby? You're lucky to have me.
Dawson: That's an understatement if I ever heard one.

Joey: How do you get off talking about Audrey like that?
Jack: You yourself used to talk about her like that.
Joey: Yeah, but that's before I knew her. I wasn't going around selling her to the highest bidder.

Joey: Because it feels to me like you're hiding, Jack. Like you're pushing us and yourself away because maybe it's just easier to be another one of the meatheads.
Jack: Meathead?
Joey: Yeah!
Jack: You don't even know any of these people.
Joey: Well, I really don't want to run off and meet them all now that I know they're all wannabe pimps.
Jack: Okay, see, now, you're exaggerating, Joey. You know what? Every time something doesn't meet your standard of righteousness, you write it off like it's the worst thing on earth.
Joey: Standard of righteousness?
Jack: Yeah!
Joey: Jack, try common decency and respect.
Jack: Jo, Joey, look around. Everybody here is having a good time. Nobody's forcing anyone to be here.
Joey: That's true. No one's forcing me to be here.

Dawson: Why didn't it work out between us?
Jen: You were in love with Joey.
Dawson: No. That's too easy. I seem to recall you having broken up with me.
Jen: Yeah, but, I, oh, God. I quickly saw the errors of my ways and proceeded to, um, hurl myself at you in a very embarrassing fashion.
Dawson: That's right, you did. And I'm ashamed to admit, I really enjoyed that. I did. I loved it. Especially you being the first girl that torn my heart out and all.
Jen: I did?
Dawson: God, yeah. Temple of doom style.

Dawson: So that's what everyone's talking about.
Jen: That's it.
Dawson: Hmm... it wasn’t... what I imagined.
Jen: It's not?
Dawson: No. Everyone always told me your first time is never as good as you'd imagine it to be. That was... every bit the fantasy. And you were...
Jen: We. We were.
Dawson: You're right. We. Great.

Karen: Take care, Witter.
Pacey: Yeah, you, too, Torres.

Jen: Wish we didn't have to leave here.
Dawson: So we stay.
Jen: Stay?
Dawson: Yeah. We stay. At least a couple days. After all, this is the honeymoon suite, right?
Jen: And I am your girlfriend.

Episode 10 Appetite For Destruction

Joey: Ooh, the rice is looking kinda gummy, Pace.
Pacey: Uh, no, it's risotto, Jo. And it's not gummy, it's just absorbing the stuff.
Jack: Joey, please don't hinder the man's process, alright? I'm starving.
Audrey: Yeah, me, too. What gives with the fancy rice?
Pacey: It's risotto. And it can't just be cooked, it has to be built.
Audrey: Well, that's awesome and everything, but if the plan is for us to bond, let's just order a pizza and give each other manicures.
Joey: Audrey, aside from the fact that we said that we would have these weekly dinners and have obviously failed to do so, Pacey's cooking, on his night off, no less. I mean, we should at least welcome the break from dining hall fare.
Audrey: Yeah, well, you promised me a Grams, and I see no Grams, so the evening is clearly ruined. I'm liking the decor, however. Hey, you guys ever go crazy and eat off the plates on the wall?
Pacey: Hey, Audrey, you know that onion I asked you to chop?
Audrey: Yes. Yes, I do.
Pacey: Fork it over.
Audrey: Oh, no. I'm sorry, I thought you're just trying to make me feel included by giving me a little task to do. I didn't...

Dawson: You don't have to say anything.
Jen: Are you proposing that we sneak around, Dawson Leery? Because, you know, I am that kind of girl.

Pacey: Look, it's not supposed to be this gummy. I mean, you're supposed to serve it right away before anything has a chance to coagulate.
Jen: I'm sorry. That's probably our... ehem... my fault for the coagulation. I just didn't know that everybody was gonna be here and...
Dawson: Or that Pacey was cooking.
Jen: Right. Who could have guessed?
Jack: Already finishing each other's sentences.

Joey: Look, so they had a fun weekend together. They were kissing. And believe me, it's literally nothing I haven't seen before.
Audrey: Oh, yes, right! Joey, come on. This isn't like first week Audrey that you're talking to here. This is December Audrey. I'm wise. I've been studying your people for a great many months and I know how it works, and... and also, I know a thing or two about the casual kiss and I'm... I'm sorry but that kiss looked decidedly un-casual. I... I know that you're just this... nice country girl who grew up on a stream or whatever but, don't you know what I'm talking about?
Joey: I'm sorry. Uh, what's the topic at hand?
Audrey: Well, that clearly relations were had. You know, scantily clad and possibly fully naked relations?
Joey: Oh, thank you for that image.
Audrey: I'm sorry. It just seems like you need a little slap in the face. Come on, woman, a reaction, please.
Joey: I'm sorry to disappoint you but I don't have a reaction.

Pacey: Well, first off, why aren't you eating your risotto? But second and far more importantly, why, oh, why, did you choose to take the lovely and talented Jen Lindley away for the weekend?
Jack: A woman even my tribe can't resist.
Pacey: A woman who has tugged at the heartstrings of rehabilitated rebels and frat boys alike, and here you are not sharing the details?
Dawson: I got nothin' to share.

Jack: You can call me crazy but I don't think Joey's gonna mind a little kissing, unless of course, something more happened.
Pacey: Now, there's an interesting idea, but what more could have happened?
Dawson: Guys, I'm not gonna go over the bases with you.
Pacey: I didn't say bases. Did you say bases?
Jack: Guys, we don't need details.
Dawson: Alright, I'll be right back.
(Dawson leaves)
Pacey: Bases is plural.
Jack: He did.
Pacey: You think?
Jack: Definitely did. You feel different?
Pacey: I do. I do. I feel different. I mean, here we have Dawson Leery walking amongst us and I gotta tell ya, I'm a little worried that maybe he wasn't prepared. We didn't even get a chance to have the talk. How do you know?
Jack: It's not so much him as it is her. I mean, sick as it sounds, I know the look.
Pacey: Oh, man! You know, we almost did, too.
Jack: I know. I know. Come to think of it, we almost did once, too.
Pacey: What do you think it takes?
Jack: A virgin and a straight guy.
Pacey: Damn!

Man, last week, she told me that um... she couldn't think of anybody better to take care of you than me. I don't think this is what she had in mind. - Jen

Okay, okay. But seriously, where's the Grams? You guys have been evading the question all night. What do you, like, keep her upstairs in the attic or something? - Audrey

Joey: Oh, I'm sorry. What can I do to make you feel more comfortable? Audrey, everyone's treating me like a delicate little flower in there. No thanks to these emergency rushes to the kitchen on the half hour.
Audrey: Well, what is wrong with you? Why aren't you a delicate little flower? Have you no soul? Just a black, black void?

Audrey: Um, Pacey, don't the salads usually come first?
Pacey: Well, Audrey, those with sophisticated tastes usually save the salad for the third course because it cleanses the palette before dessert.
Joey: Don't listen to her, Pace. She can't even work the dorm microwave.
Audrey: Well, I didn't have one growing up, okay? My mother was afraid of radiation poisoning. Little did she know there were more dangerous things in the house like her.

Pacey: Dawson, I'm sure she'll be right in.
Dawson: Trust me, I'm in no mood to cause a scene. I'm just gonna see if she's okay.
Pacey: Like I'm all for scene causing. I wanna serve the guy up as garnish for the third course but, don't be that guy. And I know you, man, you're ten times better than that guy.
Dawson: Charlie? I should hope.
Pacey: Not just Charlie. The guy who needs to check in long before the check in is due. If you start your relationship with Jen off like this, panicking every time she leaves the room, rushing out to size up the competition, which is, really, let's be honest, what you're doing here, then the whole thing is gonna have this needy overtone that believe me, is a rocky road best left untraveled.
Dawson: That guy doesn't sound a heck of a lot like me. Why do I get a feeling you're this guy?
Pacey: 'Cause generally you're a very wise man.

Then what happened? Dawson, how did I go from being on the corner of possibility to being nothing at all. - Joey

Joey: And you feel like you can't be yourself around me.
Dawson: No, Joey, you're just hearing what you wanna hear.
Joey: No, I think I'm hearing what you're afraid to tell me.
Dawson: Joey, it hurts to be around you. When I see you even from across the room, it brings up a thousand memories, not just of us, but of my entire life before. It's like I'm frozen in this place that I can't bear to be. I care about you so much. As long as I can remember, everything's always come back to you and you, no matter what was happening between us, even the thought of you is at least a constant comfort but... I can't go back. It just... it hurts.

Pacey: Good to know that I salvaged something though I promise that next time we do this, it will be much, much easier.
Joey: Next time?
Pacey: Oh, yeah. We can't quit now. You don't stop riding a bike just 'cause you smash into a tree.

Dawson: It's only natural, guys, that we drift apart a little bit. I mean, trite as it sounds, we're not in high school anymore.
Audrey: Do you guys know how lucky you are? I mean, I can't even name two people that I still talk to that I knew when I was 15. Maybe you shouldn't be taking it for granted. And plus, you know, none of them can cook and they're all hepped up on goofballs.
Jen: It's actually kind of amazing that we all still know each other.
Joey: And I guess we can't really expect each other to... be exactly as we were when we first met.
Dawson: That's a lot to expect.
Joey: A lot to live up to.
Jack: Well, we're all still sittin' here. Must be something worth sticking around for, right?
Audrey: Well, sure, I mean, the dessert... oh, and the lifelong friendships.
Dawson: I'll toast to that.

Audrey: Whoo! Is this the Grams? Oh, no offense, but you're kinda a lot cooler than I thought you'd be.
Grams: Oh, yes, I do seem to get that quite a bit. And you would be?
Audrey: Oh.
Joey: Oh, I'm sorry, Mrs. Ryan, this is my roommate Audrey.
Grams: Oh, so this is the Audrey. Your reputation preceeds you.
Audrey: Oh, well, it usually does.

Audrey: Yeah, I'm with, um, Pacey, always a pleasure. You can make me a tart anytime.
Pacey: Be careful what you wish for.
Audrey: Okay. You got that one for free.

Jen: So I figure that I've heard a piece of everybody's mind today except yours. Hit me with your best shot.
Pacey: Well, I'm sorry, Jen, but I can't help you there. You'll get no judgments out of me.
Jen: But that's awfully disappointing because Pacey's judgments are the best kind.
Pacey: Well, how about this? I would be satisfied if everybody would just do what makes them happy and left it at that.
Jen: But the planets would collide and the sea would boil over with blood.
Pacey: And don't I know it? But, you did seem happy. At least for the first five minutes. Maybe not so much after that.
Jen: Thank you.

You know what, though? No offense, but being cooped up with Professor Potter all night is quickly losing its allure. Would you mind if I tagged along, Jack? - Audrey

Okay, we are so going to a gay bar. Your efforts to set me up definitely call for revenge. - Audrey

The things we really want always seem like a good idea at the time. - Pacey

And I am a firm believer that things happen for a reason. And things have a wonderful habit of working themselves out regardless of how you may plan them to the contrary. - Pacey

Episode 11 Something Wild

Pacey: How's vacation going?
Bessie: Behold the human vegetable.

Dawson: I just want to savor the significance of this moment. This is the first time I’ve actually brought a girl home.
Jen: Well, I'd hate to ruin the moment for you but I think that I’m actually going through a rite of passage here, too. This is the first time that I’ve been brought home.
Dawson: Really?
Jen: Yeah, usually I get brought to a motel.
Dawson: We've already done that.

Joey: You know, there's a fundamental difference between having a thought and actually acting upon it.
Pacey: That's true, and there's also a fundamental difference between saying that you're gonna change and actually doing it.

Audrey: But we had this big fight about money and they even suggested I get rental boots. Can you believe that?
Pacey: Well, what's wrong with rental boots?
Joey: Hard to coordinate with a hot pink bunny suit.

Don't worry, I already told Audrey not to show up looking like a showgirl tomorrow to work. - Pacey

Pacey: So then you're not chewing me out?
Danny: No, I'm promoting you. Which means I'm giving you a 20 percent increase in your salary.
Pacey: Okay, you have to forgive the look of shock on my face but I'm... shocked.

Okay, seriously, is there a note in here that says "I’m screwin' with you, Witter?" - Pacey

Audrey: Ooh. Speaking of which, now there is a highly kissable boy.
Joey: Cute.
Audrey: Cute? Come on, Joey. That guy is gorgeous.
Joey: Okay, he's gorgeous and... familiar.
Audrey: You, we have to plot some smart, subtle way for you to meet him.
Joey: How about I go up to him and say, "Aren't you Charlie, the guy who dicked over Jen?"
Audrey: That's Charlie? Charlie the jerk?
Joey: In the flesh.
Audrey: Ooh! Such beautiful flesh for a jerk. Jen has good taste in men. I mean... musicians, you know? These guys rock.

Pacey: Hey... I know that voice.
Joey: Audrey’s excited about her new job. And when Audrey’s excited about something...
Pacey: How did we ever get through high school without that girl?

Charlie: I've never done this before.
Joey: Really?
Charlie: Yeah.
Joey: So, you must have used a different tact with Jen Lindley, huh?
Charlie: Um... Joey, the smart girl from Worthington.
Joey: Charlie, womanizer from Boston Bay.
Charlie: Yeah, this is deeply humiliating. But hey, you can't blame a guy for trying.
Joey: No, but you don't have to have a drink with him.

Joey: You again?
Charlie: Hey, what can I say? I don't give up easily.
Joey: You know, helping a girl get a drink doesn't absolve you from cheating on her friend.
Charlie: I'm not looking for absolution. I'm looking for a second chance.
Joey: Well, Jen is not currently swimming in the available pool right now. Maybe you haven't heard.
Charlie: I'm talkin' about you.
Joey: A second chance with me? I didn't realized you ever had a first.

Pacey: Do you think it's possible she went home?
Audrey: I don't know. Maybe she met somebody. We sort of made this pact we were gonna kiss some boys tonight.
Pacey: Doesn't sound like a pact that Joey would make.
Audrey: Okay, well, I made it without her, but she was there.

Audrey: Oh, my God! That can't be the same girl that sleeps in my room! Who is that girl?!
Pacey: That is 'other Joey.'

Don't ever call me uptight! - Joey

Dawson: You are so beautiful.
Jen: Okay, apology accepted.
Dawson: Just like that? I had, like, a very impassioned... speech.
Jen: Yeah, I don't really need it.
Dawson: I'm prepared to grovel.

Sometimes there are things that you don't even want the people who are close to you to know about. - Audrey

And he actually told me that he was proud of me. It's the first time in my entire life I have ever heard him say those words--he's proud of me. - Pacey

Pacey: Parents are strange creatures.
Audrey: I know. From another planet, right?
Pacey: Lord.

Episode 12 Sleeping Arrangements

Dawson: You know, I never really thought you were that into makeup.
Jen: You have no idea how much makeup it takes to look like you're really not that into makeup.

Audrey: (to Pacey) Hey, gorgeous!
Danny: You never call me gorgeous.
Audrey: That's because you're old enough to be my father, Danny.
Danny: Ouch.

Jack left this (Gameboy Advance) behind. It must be the work of the devil. It's had me under it's spell for two hours now. - Grams

Grams: You're right, it has been a bit strange. But I'd like to think I've come a long way over the past few years with Jennifer’s help. Once upon a time, I couldn't even say the word penis.
Dawson: You know, it would... it would be fine by me if you never said it again.
Grams: Can do.

Audrey: So, are you gonna tell me what's wrong or am I gonna have to punch you in the face?
Pacey: How are you so sure there's something wrong with me?
Audrey: Well, because usually you're so high energy which can be kind of annoying but I have to say something, high-energy Pacey is way cooler than sullen Pacey.

Audrey: So what's the problem? That's like your whole thing, right? The young man and the sea routine.
Pacey: Well, thank you for making it sound so stupid but yes, it is my thing and I would be lying if I didn't tell you that I was ecstatic at the prospect of getting back out there.

Audrey: So, how did he take it?
Pacey: He was really great about it, actually.
Audrey: I don't know why you're so surprised.
Pacey: What do you mean?
Audrey: I don't know why you're surprised he was great about it. I mean, the people that care about you, they just want you to be happy, right?

Audrey: And then, of course, I mean... there is that other reason, too.
Pacey: Oh, yeah? What's that?
Audrey: Duh. You totally want me.
Pacey: Audrey, if you're attracted to me, you can just say so. We don't have to play all these childish games.
Audrey: Um, Pacey, you're really nice and everything. It's just that... I don't know, you're kind of... boring.
Pacey: Boring? I'm boring? You think I'm boring?!
Audrey: Yeah, I don't know. It's hard to explain really. It's just the whole walking on water thing. It doesn't really do it for me.
Pacey: I'm not boring! I'm not boring. Did you ever stop to think that you might not actually be my type either?
Audrey: No!
Pacey: No?
Audrey: No! Guys don't have types.
Pacey: What do you mean guys? Of course, guys have types. Are we not human? Do we not have feelings?
Audrey: Pacey!
Pacey: Yes?
Audrey: I have boobs. You would sleep with me.
Pacey: Well... I don't think that I could, actually.
Audrey: Erectile dysfunction?
Pacey: No, not erectile dysfunction. You're just too bawdy for me.
Audrey: Ew! Bawdy?! You make it sound like I'm Bette Midler or something.

Audrey: Listen, be careful, use redundant forms of birth control, and don't push her head down. Girls don't like that.
Pacey: You think?
Audrey: Good night, Pacey.

Audrey: Waitressing is a bitch!
Joey: Nice entrance.
Audrey: Oh, my feet feel like one enormous blister.
Joey: I told you not to wear those shoes.
Audrey: Oh, okay. It's official. You do know everything.

Pacey: Thank you so much, Audrey.
Audrey: You never told me it was a secret.
Pacey: Well, I never told you that it wasn't, either.
Audrey: You know what, whatever. I don't have time for semantics, Pacey.

Pacey: This is a truly beautiful sextant, but... I can't accept it.
Dawson: Yes, you can.
Pacey: No, no. I actually can't because... I'm not going anywhere.
Dawson: You're not?
Pacey: No. I'm staying right here.
Joey: Why?
Jack: Not that we're complaining or anything.
Jen: Right, yeah, what he said. But why?
Pacey: Well, because... Boston ain't half bad. And for the first time in my life, I don't really feel like I have anything to run from. And because I don't think Civilization will survive without me.
Audrey: Let's not forget the fact that you want me.
Pacey: Well, that goes without saying.
Audrey: Oh.
Jen: This is good. This is good.
Pacey: Yeah, this is very good. I'm happy about it but unfortunately now I find myself without a place to live...
Jack: You know there's always room for one more at Grams' house.
Pacey: Thank you but no thank you.
Audrey: Well, face it, Pace, you're stuck with us.
Pacey: Ah, yes I am.

Episode 13 Something Wilder

Audrey: Whoa! Whoa! Am I interrupting? Are there naked people in here?
Joey: No!
Audrey: Oh. Bummer.

Audrey: Someone's got a boyfriend.
Joey: Audrey, your elementary school methods of taunting aren't gonna work this time.
Audrey: Who's got a boyfriend? Joey's got a boyfriend!
Joey: Okay, okay, tickle me one more time, I swear I will bite you.

Jen: Why do I feel like all the boys are looking at me?
Jack: Well, because all the boys are looking at you.

Jen: Oh, first of all, uh, I just wanna reiterate, Audrey, that you don't have to use your full name every time that you call in to the radio show because it's supposed to be confidential.
Audrey: Yeah, well, I have nothing to hide, sugar plum.

Jen: I don't wanna see you close the door on possibilities, Audrey. I wanna see you open up. Let the sunshine in.
Audrey: Okay, I'm sorry. I wanted to talk to Jennifer Lindley.

Jack: I said I'll make it up, alright? You don't have to worry about it.
Blossom: I hope not. Maybe you should be studying instead of playin' football. We got a quiz in Socio comin' up, don't we?
Jack: I don't see you studying.
Blossom: Well, that's because I'm not on academic probation.

Pacey: How very Marcia Brady of you, Jo. So, tell me, who are the lucky contestants?
Audrey: Well, behind door number one, we have nice guy.
Joey: His name is Elliot, for God's sake.
Audrey: A sweet young lad who's quite smitten with our Joey. Cute, funny, wears sweater vests, which is the only strike against him thus far.
Pacey: That's bad. So, who's behind door number two?
Joey: Can we not do this?
Audrey: Ah, yes, the professor. The forbidden fruit, if you will.
Joey: He's not fruit. He's my teacher. And it's not a date, it's an academic group activity with the entire...
Audrey: Well, which doesn't mean that it couldn't end up with date-like circumstances, the two of you wrapped around each other like squid.
Joey: Oh, beautiful image, Audrey, but not one that I'm entertaining.

Audrey: Alright, listen, I'm all for you bedding down with the gorgeous professor.
Pacey: Oh, yeah. Been there, done that. It's good.

Audrey: Boyfriends are time-consuming things and... some people think that they're ready but they're not and... it's not just going to dinner a bunch of times and gettin' greasy afterwards.
Pacey: It's not?
Audrey: No! It's letting your guard down. You know, getting past the small talk and really allowing yourself to be intimate with somebody new.

I always prefer to get my advice from people who are far more dysfunctional than I am. That way I feel good about my life. - Pacey

Why don't you give him 20 dollars and tell him to get a lap dance? - Jen

Stop wasting your time wishing that you were somebody else and... grab hold of what you have coming to you. Because you never know when it's gonna come your way again. - Audrey

Pacey: So, do you wanna talk to me about it?
Jack: About what?
Pacey: About whatever it is that's making you do this to yourself, man.
Jack: What exactly am I doing to myself, Pacey?
Pacey: Well, for starters, you're flunking yourself out of school. And you can talk to me all you like about makeup exams 'cause believe me, I'm the king of makeup exams. And you can tell me that the whole thing's crap and you don't care about your grades but I'm not gonna buy that, Jack, especially not from you. 'Cause I know how hard you worked to get yourself into college. I know that it must terrify you, to be on academic probation. And it terrifies you because you just don't know how you got to this point, right? All you're doing was cuttin' loose, havin' a little bit of fun, I mean, believe me, man, I understand that. I've been there. I know what it's like.
Jack: What do you want from me, huh?
Pacey: Nothing. Uh... I'm just curious. I'm just curious 'cause from my perspective, you're flunking out of school and you're drinking like you got a death wish, all so you can hang out with a bunch of guys who pretty much attacked you last night.
Jack: They didn't attack me last night.
Pacey: They didn't attack you?
Jack: No.
Pacey: Jack, it was ten on one in there. And they left you here, bleeding, just in case you forgot. So I'm just curious. Is it worth it? Are they worth it?

Episode 14 Guerilla Filmmaking

Amateurs. I'm surrounded by amateurs. - Dawson

Pacey: Audrey, I would like to introduce you to my good friend Gina.
Rina: Excuse me?
Pacey: What?
Rina: What's my name?
Pacey: Ehem.
Rina: My name is Rina. R-I-N-A.
Pacey: Which is what I said, Rina. Didn't I say Rina, Audrey?
Audrey: You said Gina.
(Rina storms out)
Pacey: (to Audrey) Thank you.
Pacey: Oh, come on, sweetheart, don't leave angry. Or if you must, at least don't drive angry.
Rina: Have a nice life, Stacey!

The real problem is that Oliver is without a doubt, the most pathetic excuse for a thespian that's ever been. - Dawson

Jack and Grams have more sexual chemistry than these two. - Dawson

Charlie: I knew it. I knew you could never live without me.
Jen: Oh, on the contrary, I actually plan to spend the rest of my life living without you, Charlie, but... I need a favor.
Charlie: A favor? Now, why on earth would I do you a favor?
Jen: You get to make out with a really hot girl.
Charlie: Okay. Step into my office.

Yeah, procrastination. It's the only skill we ever learn in college. - Jack

Jen: A world of pain. Charlie, one step closer and you're entering a world of pain.
Charlie: You know, Dawson, buddy, it's difficult to really become the character here when she is not giving me anything to work with.
Jen: Acting tip: It's called using your imagination.

Eric: What was it like when you realized you were gay?
Jack: Well, it wasn't like that, you know? It wasn't like I woke up one morning from an especially nasty dream about Robert Downey, Jr. and I said to myself, "Hey, I must be gay."
Eric: Well, what was it like?
Jack: Well, you know... so many people just, they spend so much of their lives just locked up in this cage inside themselves. And they never even know they have the key all along. That's how it was for me. I, I can't tell you when I first realized it, you know. I don't know, at some level, I think I've always known it. Probably just like you've always known you're straight. It wasn't about realizing that I was gay, it was about realizing that it was alright.
Eric: You're an amazing guy, Jack. You know that? You really are. You're the kind of guy that I wanna be.

Audrey: Cut! Cut!
Dawson: Cut.
Audrey: I'm sorry, okay? It's just that my co-star Charlie Sheen over here, is ramming his tongue down my throat. Hey, I feel like he's looking for my diaphragm.
Charlie: Foiled again.

And, uh, Pace? I see the boom dip into my frame, I begin to forget our friendship. - Dawson

Audrey: I'm sorry. I can't work like this, okay? It's completely unprofessional. And it's just... it's too intense with you standing right there next to me.
Pacey: Huh?
Audrey: You're a terrible boom operator. - Audrey

Pacey: So, Dawson, let's say that, hypothetically speaking, I might have some insight into why your ingenue is so exasperated today, and let's also say that, hypothetically speaking, I might be mildly culpable for her exasperation. Which really isn't that important, okay? I'm sure it's nothing. Forget I mentioned it.
Dawson: Pacey, my patience is wearing just a little bit thin.
Pacey: Okay, well, uh, here's the thing. I kissed her.
Dawson: You idiot. Didn't anybody ever tell you the first rule of the universe?
Pacey: Uh, yeah. That energy is conserved.
Dawson: First rule of the universe is never get involved with an actress.

Joey: Pace, why did Dawson insist you come along on this mission? Did something happen between you and Audrey?
Pacey: No. No! Of course not. Because if there's something happening between me and Audrey, we'd be full of terrible, awful things, right?
Joey: Pacey, you're an idiot.
Pacey: Okay. If one more person calls me an idiot, I'm really gonna start feeling bad about myself.
Joey: Don't you think I'd prefer you hooking up with someone amazing like Audrey rather than some random ditz who's name you can't even remember in the morning?
Pacey: Hah! I can remember her name.
(Joey knocks)
Audrey: Go away. Severe flooding. Out of order.
Joey: Audrey, it's me. I'm with Pacey. We're coming in.
Pacey: What do you mean? I can't go in there. That's the ladies room.

Audrey: I don't deserve to talk to you. I don't even deserve to be in the same lavatory as you.
Joey: Why, because you kissed Pacey?
Audrey: What? You told her? How could you? Amateur.
Joey: Audrey, Pacey didn't tell me. I intuited.
Audrey: That's amazing, Joey. You're very intelligent.
Joey: Next stop, rocket science.

Audrey: That our friendship is like the special-est thing that I’ve found since I came here, what do I do? I stepped on it. I betray you. Why? Because I'm weak when it comes to men.
Joey: You're not. Okay, maybe you are weak. But kissing Pacey is not weak. In fact, it could be the smartest thing either one of you has done for a long time.
Pacey: Really?
Audrey: You think?

Audrey: You're like... giving us permission?
Joey: You don't need my permission. I'm giving you my blessing... for what it's worth.

I want you to listen to me closely because you're never gonna get anything like this again. You know the truth. You know what really happened in that room and what didn't, and you're gonna have to live with that. And believe me when I tell you, Eric, you've got some serious issues to deal with and you need some serious help. I really hope you find it. - Jack

Jack: You alone?
Jen: No, I got the Vienna Boys Choir with me.
Jack: Can we put the biting sarcasm to rest?
Jen: You waiting for a bus?
Jack: Nope. I'm just sitting here being cold.

Jen: What's happened to you?
Jack: Oh, it's hard to say. I seem to remember the... two of us hanging out in front of that coffee stand at the beginning of the year. Then dumb-guy-with-a-dream comes up and invites us to a fraternity party and... everything after that's kind of a blur. Jen, can I ask you a question?
Jen: You can ask me a question.
Jack: Did you like Notting Hill?
Jen: Are you kidding? I love that movie.

Pacey: You were amazing out there tonight.
Audrey: Was I?
Pacey: Yes, you were. And then of course, there's that... that thing that you do. How do you do that thing?
Audrey: What thing?
Pacey: You smile and the whole world lights up.
Audrey: Acting.
Pacey: Beats the hell out of work.

Episode 15 Downtown Crossing

Mugger: Well, the point is, I love my wife. I love my daughter. But... I am who I am. Nothing's gonna change that. I mean, you wanna know why people do the things that they do. There is no why, sweetheart. They just do.
Joey: That's crap. If you really loved your daughter, if you really loved her, you wouldn't do those things.
Mugger: No, you're wrong. I do love my daughter. I love her very much. I love her so much it's easier just being stoned. You know, it's not like I can overcome every tragic flaw I have. It's just not possible, you know?
Joey: Let me ask you a question, she comes to you in 15 years and asks you why you couldn't get over yourself for her, and what do you say?
Mugger: Grow up. Get on with your life. Don't blame me.
Joey: I really admire that tough-guy bravado. You know what, it just doesn't track. You obviously cared enough to wanna get that money back. And now it looks like you're gonna die alone. How does that feel?
Mugger: Big deal. Everybody dies alone.
Joey: Great. Good answer. Well, I'll let you get to it. Have a nice after-life.

Episode 16 In A Lonely Place

Pacey, clearly, when you and I had sex, we created some sort of... a cosmic imbalance, okay? Like a karmic disturbance, if you will, and what this means is that bad energy is seeking us out. Okay? It's here, and it's hovering. - Audrey

Pacey: Look, I know for a fact that's she's going to that concert thing with Jen tonight and I'm sure they're just in there pimping away right now.
Jack: Primping, not... not pimping.

Jack: I mean, Joey getting mugged has nothing to do with you and Audrey having sex.
Pacey: Finally, someone who agrees with me. So look, could you just go up there and send her down, please?
Jack: No. They're gone. They're gone. Uh, pimped out of here ages ago. Sorry.

Jen: Uh, just to set the record straight, you may be here on some misguided, hormonally charged attempt to get the Pacey out of your system?
Audrey: Which you promised not to comment on.

Dawson: You used to know this stuff.
Joey: Wrong. I only pretended to know stuff like this so that you would be impressed with me.
Dawson: You are way more of a girl than I ever imagined.

Jack: So, how long have you been talkin' to that guy?
Pacey: I don't know. Couple minutes. Who cares? What's important is that he is this far away from giving us a write-up.
Jack: What's he want in return?
Pacey: Uh-huh... You don't think that he thinks that I'm...
Jack: Yeah. Unless some time in the past few minutes you've just... happened to mention the fact that, uh, gee, I don't know, you're not gay.
Pacey: Jack, look at me, okay? Really look at me. I'm a schrub, okay? I'm not gay-friendly. I would be an insult to gay-dom.
Jack: Okay, you might have a point there but the guy was hangin' on your every word.
Pacey: Sure he was. So?
Jack: So, you're not that interesting.
Pacey: I'm not?
Jack: No! He... look, nobody listens that hard, okay? Unless, they're just tryin' to, you know...
Pacey: Oh. Interesting.
Jack: What?
Pacey: Well... I think for the first time in my life, I understand what it must be like to be a woman. A really hot woman.
Jack: Oh. Uh... not that hot.
Pacey: I'm not?
Jack: Not really.

Jack: But... what are you gonna do when he asks you for your number, huh?
Pacey: I will look him right in the eye and give him your phone number.

Audrey: So I... made this deal with God. I said, "God, please let Joey be okay. Like really and truly okay, and I will walk the path of moral righteousness. I will do everything right for a change."
Wynn: So no more trying to pick up guys in rock and roll bands?
Audrey: Well, God doesn't want me to be nun.

Jack: Now.
Pacey: Right. Um, Jeff, there's something I gotta tell you. I'm not, um, the thing is, I'm not totally... totally, uh...
Jeff: Available? You're not available. That's what you're trying to say.
Pacey: Yes. That's exactly what I'm trying to say.
Jeff: I sort of suspected. You seem very... together.
Pacey: And we are.
Jeff: Well, it was nice meeting you both. You know, I don't usually do this but what the hell. If you guys ever break up, give me a call sometime.
[Jeff leaves]
Pacey: What just happened right there? I think that I should be insulted on several different levels about that.
Jack: Pacey, you're not gay.
Pacey: Well, I know that and you know that but he doesn't know that. So far as he's concerned, you're my boyfriend!

You kissed your professor. You kissed the guy who gives you grades. - Dawson

You know, that’s... that's kind of the essence of Audrey, isn't it? I mean, she just zeroes in on the one thing that you're slightly afraid of, and then she just does not take no for an answer. That's a good quality to have in a person. - Jack

Pacey: She need a ride?
Audrey: She's, um, got a car.
Pacey: Do you need a ride?
Audrey: I need a life.
Pacey: Yeah, you do, don't you?

Episode 17 Highway To Hell

Yeah! You know, this is really hot and everything but the thrill of knowing that Joey could walk in the door at any minute is kinda wearing off. - Audrey

Well, these make-out sessions used to be very old-school charming but now it's quickly moving into the realm of slutdom. Your car, my dorm room, the coed bathroom... A lady must be courted, Pacey. - Audrey

Joey: I mean, if I do this, which apparently we've decided I am, eh, it's for the fun experience of it, not Charlie, just to clarify.
Audrey: Well, duly noted. Now, let's go pick out an outfit. And not from your closet, okay? From mine.

Dawson: Wow, I feel really old and boring all of a sudden.
Jen: Why? Just because Grams didn't catch us in a compromising position?
Dawson: Yes, exactly.
Jen: You know, not every morning has to begin with an embarrassing Grams encounter.

Pacey: And you'll let me pick the music?
Audrey: If you must. It'll be fun, Pacey, come on! There are worse ways to spend your Saturday then traveling the open road with a couple of hotties.
Pacey: True, that. But I still don't like the idea of catering to chip mark and his merry band.
Audrey: Charlie Todd.
Pacey: I don't want to know the guy's actual name.
Audrey: I just don't want you to feel out of the loop or anything.
Pacey: This guy is not even in our social circle. I mean, sure he circle around it like a vulture but he's not actually in the circle, you know what I mean?

Joey: I'm really sorry, Pace. Nobody planned on this.
Pacey: I beg to differ. I'm pretty sure laughing boy over there planned this. "I missed my ride." You know that this guy is just stalking Joey.
Audrey: Hello?! Present love interest standing right in front of you.
Pacey: It has nothing to do with that. I just saw what this guy did to Jen. I don't want him to do it to another one of my friends.

Charlie: Hey, Pace?
Pacey: Yeah, Chuck.
Charlie: Look, I don't mean to be a backseat driver or anything but we kind of need to put the pedal to the metal, if you know what I mean.
Pacey: Did he really just say that to me?
Audrey: Yeah.

Audrey: What are you doing?
Pacey: Anger management. This one's for me. Chuckles, get out of my car.
Charlie: What's the problem?
Pacey: There's no problem. We're leaving and you're hitchhiking.

Hey, guys, guess what? You're both very masculine and the girls are impressed. Can we just go now? - Audrey

Charlie: Ugh! What is his problem?
Joey: What is your problem? The guy is giving you a ride because he happens to be a decent person. Why did you find it necessary to speak?

It's nothing. I just... he's just that guy. When you and Dawson were making that movie together, I had to watch him shove his tongue down your throat like 40 times while you and I were still working out this whole thing, okay? So when I see him, yeah, I wanna punch him in the face and fine, if that makes me a bad guy, I guess I'm a bad guy. But when I see the two of you together, it drives me crazy, okay? And I wish that I could really impress you right now by saying something self-assured but I can't because I care and that's just the best I can do. - Pacey

Audrey: I can't believe you wanna... punch a guy in the face for me, Pacey. It's so... disturbingly cute.
Pacey: Really?
Audrey: Really.

Pacey: Well, you know, I understand it's no Potter B&B but wouldn't you just hate to miss out on any of the local charm?
(band's van leaves)
Charlie: Hey, sounds good to me, man. I'm... I'm wiped.
Audrey: Well, would you look at that? The gentlemen agree on something.
Joey: Shocking.

Charlie: Look, I'm just trying to cut to the chase here. I mean, why... why do we always have to banter? Why can't we just have a serious conversation?
Joey: Why do we need to have a serious conversation?
Charlie: We don't, I guess. Look, I just can't figure out why you wouldn't want to make a new friend. I mean, all the rest of your friends are sleepin' together.

Charlie: You know, those are two of the most high-maintenance women known to man and somehow, you managed to wrangle both of them.
Pacey: High-maintenance is really just another way of saying high-quality, huh.
Charlie: That's a nice way of looking at it. So then tell me something, why are we suddenly starting to have a normal conversation?
Pacey: I don't know, really. That was a nice thing that you did out there tonight. And maybe I just got tired of hating you so intensely but make no mistake, if you do anything to hurt Joey, I will make you regret it for the rest of your waking days.
Charlie: Yeah, I figured that. So you only kinda hate me now?
Pacey: If I were you, I wouldn't take that so personally. It's not a short list.

Pacey: If he tries anything unsavory, you know where to find me, right?
Joey: I think I can handle him.
Pacey: After watching you lull a biker bar into submission tonight, I'm pretty sure you could handle Charlie. In fact, I bet if you wanted to, you could break his heart into a million pieces.
Joey: If I wanted to do such a thing.
Pacey: Of course. Poor guy.

Episode 18 Cigarette Burns

Joey: And you know what's really surprising?
Dawson: What?
Joey: Charlie.
Dawson: What about?
Joey: He's... shockingly good.
Dawson: I know. It kills me. The guy's brilliant. In real life, the guy barely passes for human but on-screen he's got something. I don't know what it is but it works.

Pacey: Where... on earth... did you learn how to do that?
Audrey: National Geographic.
Audrey: But most guys lose consciousness somewhere in the middle.
Pacey: How many guys have you done that with?
Audrey: Enough to know you've got staying power.

Pacey: I'm as glad as you are. I am more glad. I am gladder. Gladdest. And I can't feel anything below my waist. Is that supposed to happen?
Audrey: Give me another hour, you'll be in a coma.

Grams: Get a hold of yourself, Jennifer.
Jen: I'm sorry. I'm sorry. What, what was that, that you were doing with the kissing? Why did you... did you... young lady, do you have a boyfriend?.. Cliff, are you my grams' boyfriend?
Grams: Jennifer, I don't think...
Mr. Smalls: Yes, I am. I think. Aren't I?
Grams: Yes. Yes, you are.
Jen: Oh, my goodness! Why... did this just slip your mind? Is this something that you just forgot to mention to me?
Jack: Should Clifton and I leave you two alone for a minute? 'Cause we, we can do that.
Jen: Cliff, what do you do?
Grams: Ah. You've got to be kidding.
Mr. Smalls: I teach Geometry at St. Jude's Episcopal on the east side.
Jen: Are you married?
Mr. Smalls: Not currently. I was. She passed away. I'm a widower.
Grams: Alright. Do you approve? May we leave now?

You know, contrary to popular opinion, I may not actually be the devil. - Charlie

Audrey: (to Joey) Okay. So, if you happen to be talking to Pacey and it happens to come up, I slept with 27 people.
Man: Rock and roll!
Audrey: Bite me, will you?

Joey: You can't do these kinds of things halfway. You have to tell him the whole truth and, nothing but the truth.
Audrey: So help me God?

Charlie: What's written all over my face right now?
Joey: Uh. You're thinking that I'm the most attractive and formidable woman you've ever been in the same room with. Though you're terrified of rejection, you like me and you wanna take me out on a proper date.
Charlie: Nope.
Joey: No?
Charlie: Uh-uh. Actually, I was thinking... that I wanna take you into the bathroom and do ungodly things to you.
Joey: What'd you say?
Charlie: Nothing. No. It was a joke. I was... I was joking.
Joey: I'm gonna go check on Dawson.
Charlie: I just blew it, didn't I? (Joey leaves) Oh! Urgh! I am the devil.

Jack: You're sleepy.
Pacey: Yeah. You see the size of the script of this monster? It's gonna take 12 of these things to keep me awake through the movie. Which means I'm probably gonna have to pee quite frequently, which is a great excuse to leave the theater when Charlie starts making out with Audrey.
Jack: Oh. You really have it bad for this girl, don't you?
Pacey: Yeah. Well, I don't know. Maybe. She's just not like any other girl I've ever met before. And she does not care what anybody thinks and I dig that, man, I really do. You know, she's smart, she's funny, she has no idea how beautiful she is, and she's always saying the thing you don't expect, you know? She's constantly surprising me, keep me on my toes... like, for instance, right now, I bet she's standing right behind me, isn't she?
Jack: Yeah.

Joey: Jen.
Jen: Joey.
Joey: Lindley.
Jen: Potter.
Joey: Would it be awkward if I were to ask you a question having to do with boys?
Jen: Probably but do you really care?
Joey: No, not really.
Jen: Okay, neither do I.
Joey: Okay. Um... have you ever had the experience of meeting a guy who was really good-looking and... I don't know, kind of...
Jen: Charming?
Joey: Yes, charming. Very, very charming. And you almost get hypnotized by how charming and good-looking he is but when you penetrate the surface even just a little bit, you find that he’s...
Jen: A moron?
Joey: I was gonna say loser.

Pacey: So I've been thinking...
Audrey: Pacey, before you say anything...
Pacey: Could you shut up for just a second, please? I'm tryin' to tell you what I'm thinkin' here and it's interesting this time.
Audrey: Okay. I'm sorry.
Pacey: Okay. So... I know that you've slept with other men. I knew that you had slept with other men before I started this whole pathetic inquiry. I knew that you had slept with other men before you and I started sleeping together. So, fine, you have slept with other men. I can accept that. Of course, I know deep down in my heart that you didn't enjoy it but that's beside the point. The point is...
Audrey: What's the point?
Pacey: The point is, that I have my fears and my insecurities, but they're mine, not yours. It doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is this. Just this.
Audrey: Just this.
Pacey: Yes. I have totally and completely fallen for you. You move me, Audrey. All over the place.

Oliver: Oh, my God, you did it. You got her back. How did you get her back?
Dawson: I made out with her.

Episode 19 100 Light Years From Home

I don't know, sometimes I think it's better... when we don't get to touch our dreams. - Joey

Pacey: Your parents are wonderful people.
Audrey: Well, I'll tell them you said so.
Pacey: You do that. Do your parents even know who I am?
Audrey: Do your parents know who I am?
Pacey: Nope.
Audrey: Well, neither do mine.
Pacey: I didn't think so.

Joey: What do you want exactly?
Charlie: Nothing really, just... your address.
Joey: No problem. I'm at 359 no-way-in-hell avenue on the corner of get-over-it and main.

Charlie: Just tell me where you are.
Joey: I'm in your dreams, Charlie Todd.
Charlie: See, now, wait a second, that sounded suspiciously like flirting to me.
Joey: Maybe. And this is what a dial tone sounds like.

Pacey: So this is spring break, huh? You know, it's funny, it doesn't really look like the brochures.
Audrey: Hey, I provided the house. You people were supposed to bring on the fun. We could order some pizzas.
Joey: We could rent some movies.
Pacey: Let's play strip poker.
Joey: No.
Jen: No.
Audrey: No.
Pacey: Oh, come on. It's not like I haven't seen you all naked before. Okay, okay, we'll rent movies.

Pacey: So...
Audrey: Don't even bother asking because the answer is no.
Pacey: Really? Didn't make the top five?
Audrey: We were friends. God. What do I look like, the whore of Babylon? Don't answer that question.

Audrey: That's Chris.
Joey: Chris as in...
Audrey: The one. The one who I think of every time In Your Eyes comes on the radio. My perfect high school boyfriend who every other boy gets compared to and who no one's lived up to yet. Yeah, that's him. He's here. Kill me now.

Joey: But lying to him will make it all better.
Audrey: Hey, Mother Theresa, why don't you go take a smoke break and bring back my good friend Joey.

Pacey: I appreciate your offer but I'm here with somebody.
Marion: Um, I don't see her next to you right now.
Pacey: Occasionally, I actually let her mingle with the people. I'm good that way.
(music starts)
Marion: Don't leave. I'll be right back. I have to do something.
(Marion walks away)
Pacey: (to the man standing next to him) Women, right? They just will not take no for an answer. I mean, who is this girl think she is?
Marion: (on stage now) Hello, Miami!
Pacey: Oh, that's who she is.

Pacey: There's more to this whole thing, isn't there?
Audrey: God! What more do you wanna know? Yes, Chris and I dated. Yes, I loved him. He was like... my Dawson, okay? Breaking up with him was like the hardest thing I've ever had to do and every once in a while, I wonder if I made the wrong decision. Is that what you wanted to hear?
Pacey: Yes, that's exactly what I wanted to hear.

Because she said, "He's my Dawson." Which is of course, my personal kryptonite. - Pacey

If there's anything that I've learned from history, it's that Dawson is not the past tense of a noun for you ladies. If anything, he is the past, present and future. So what I'm looking for, is a woman who has no soul mate to speak of. No soul mate and smallish feet, that's all I want. - Pacey

The point is... he came all the way here to see you. And he called me--a rather intimidating ex-boyfriend--to find out where you were. That takes guts. - Pacey

I did a terrible thing and... and I wish I've never done it but... it doesn't define me, Joey. It's not all that I am. - Charlie

How am I supposed to fix my life if I don't even know where I went wrong? I just wanna go back. I just want to start over. Why can't I start over? Why? I just want to start over. - Jack

Pacey: Audrey...
Audrey: No! I need to say this.
Pacey: No. Can I... I just...
Audrey: Will you give a girl a minute? I am not so good with this vulnerable thing, okay? Pacey, I want to be your girlfriend, okay? Officially. And exclusively and... un-casually and... I want you to want the same thing but if you don't...
Pacey: I do. I do. And I wanted to tell you that all day.
Audrey: Why didn't you?
Pacey: I guess I was just waiting for my moment.
Audrey: Well, how's right now for you?
Pacey: Right now's looking pretty good. Audrey... will you be my girlfriend?
Audrey: I would love to.

Pacey: Look, Dawson, if you're here because you think that you and Joey are... whatever you're thinkin'. This is a bad idea.
Dawson: You know, Pace, I'm... I'm... no sleep and about 26 hours worth of driving.
Pacey: I'm serious. You gotta give that thing up. That thing that you guys do to each other, the heroes of bad timing, you have got to give that up. It's over.
Dawson: No, it's not.
Pacey: Oh, come on, Dawson. How many times are you gonna do this yourself? How many times are you gonna keep on coming back?
Dawson: Until there's nothing to come back for, I guess.
Pacey: Suppose I was to tell you there's nothing right now.
Dawson: Believe me, Pace, sometimes I wish that was the case. But it's not. I can feel it. I know you don't believe in any of this and that's fine. You're the cynic, I'm the idealist. It's how we work, I guess. But, when I feel something this strong pulling me... I have to act on it. It’s... the only thing I know how to do. So you're just gonna tell me where she is?
Pacey: She's with Charlie, Dawson.

Episode 20 Separate Ways (Worlds Apart)

Joey: At this point, all I really know about you and your childhood is that... you used to play with Barbie dolls.
Charlie: Okay, it wasn't a doll. Alright, it was m... okay. So maybe it was. Barbie looks really hot naked.

Joey: Charlie, don't they have classes at Boston Bay?
Charlie: Well, yeah, sure, but no one goes to 'em.

Audrey: Oh! Charlie? Charlie Todd? The boy who break your heart and then start in on your sister?
Joey: Yes, the roguishly handsome bad boy we've grown to know and love. Gone. Vanished.
Audrey: Elvis has left the building.

So, chill out! I'm sure you're just overreacting a little. Besides, it sounds like the worst thing that could happen is that you hurt his feelings a little bit. Wow! Bonus! Who knew that Charlie Todd had any feelings? - Audrey

Alex: Now, as manager of this location, I'll be instituting a lot of changes. Not only in policy, but also in staff. Invariably, some of you will be let go.
Pacey: Some of us?
Alex: Yeah, I'm sorry, but have you been elected to speak for the entire staff?
Pacey: Oh, no. I apologize. I didn't realize that we had to be allowed to speak.

Joey: It's official. I'm a horrible person.
Audrey: You are so not a horrible person!
Joey: I am. I'm the worst kind of person because I suck these boys into my web and then I... make them give up their dreams until they're left... sad and dreamless and living in Boston.
Audrey: Yeah, well, what about you? What about your dreams?
Joey: I have my dream. This is it.
Audrey: Oh. You need to dream bigger.

Joey: Well, how do I go about breaking one's heart?
Audrey: Oh, puh-lease! Like you've never done it before.

Hey! Silence! Nobody cares what you have to say! This is between me and Bambi eyes over here! - Audrey

Charlie: Okay, I think that one right there needs medication.
Pacey: I think you'd find that they're both a little crazy.
Charlie: Okay, look, I have to say, I really don't get you guys. Moreover, is this some sort of elaborate private joke?
Pacey: Oh, yes. It's elaborate. And it's private. It's just the joke part that I'm not too sure about.

Okay, it is official. You are the queen of negativity. There'll be a crowning ceremony later in the day. - Audrey

Episode 21 After Hours

Jack: Thanks but I think it's okay to get back to Grams'. She and Mr. Smalls have to be done practicing choir by now.
Pacey: You don't really believe that they asked you to leave so that they could rehearse Jesus Loves Me in private, do you?
Jack: Please. Just don't try and take that... that myth away from me, alright? There are some things that, uh, we just don't need to know about.

Amy: What kind of a man sucks a Jordan Almond?
Dawson: You're telling me you walked out on a date because you didn't like the way the guy ate his candy?
Amy: You didn't hear the noise he was making. Oh and when we parked, car cover.

Audrey: Did she hit on you?
Pacey: No and now you're being kind of ridiculous.
Audrey: Your pulse jumped.
Pacey: Because you're making me nervous.
Audrey: Your pulse is racing. You are afraid of something.
Pacey: You have your fingers to my jugular! I'm afraid of dying!

Audrey: I think he could be cheating on me.
Joey: Who?
Audrey: Carlos, the dorm security guard. Who do you think? Pacey.
Joey: Pacey doesn't cheat.

She's the affair type. Those Donna Karan business suits don't fool me. She is a femme fatale with an MBA in how to take your man away. - Audrey

Audrey: Have you ever heard of the expression, "keep your enemies close?"
Joey: Have you ever heard the expression, "you need to be medicated?"

Grams: Oh, Jack. Where have you been?
Jack: Oh. The Worthington library. It turns out this stuff is even beyond the academic ability of Joey Potter. I'm telling you, if that isn't a sign to throw in the towel, I don't know what is.

Pacey: Nothing happened!
Audrey: You kissed her, Pacey!
Pacey: She kissed me!
Audrey: Oh, well, that makes me feel so much better!
Pacey: And it didn't mean anything!
Audrey: Which, the hug or the kiss?
Pacey: Neither.
Audrey: It meant your arms around her body. It meant her tongue in your throat.
Pacey: Well, for what it's worth, it was her tongue in my...
Audrey: Ah! I don't wanna hear about this!
Pacey: Okay! Sorry! Stop!

Episode 22 The Abby

I want you to listen and listen closely. If you're gonna behave like a toddler whenever you're around me and you're gonna insist on testing my limits, you'd better be prepared to reap the whirlwind. 'Cause we will tangle ass and you will lose. And in the process, I will make your life so extraordinarily unpleasant that you will rue the day that God created woman. - Alex

Jen: Have you ever actually been inside of a youth hostel?
Jack: No. You?
Jen: No, but I can imagine. Bathroom so disgusting you're afraid to venture into the stall, mattresses so lumpy it's like sleeping on a model of the Himalayas. There's nowhere to do laundry. There's no privacy. It's... it's hell.

Jen: (to Jack) Hey, don't kill my buzz.
Grams: I'm afraid your buzz may be doomed already.
Jen: Porque?
Grams: I just got off the phone with Helen and Theodore.
Jack: Hmm?
Jen: Parents. What? What did they say?
Grams: It... it seems they've purchased a house in East Hampton. It's on the beach where you spent summers when you were growing up.
Jen: And?
Grams: They would really like you to spend the summer... with them.
Jen: Well, I guess the sky is falling.

Pacey: Ooh! Sorry for the delay, folks. But we're all right.
Alex: You slimy little cockroach.
Pacey: Hard to believe she graduated first from her class in charm school, right?
Mr. Devaney: What is going on here?
Pacey: You, sir, are witnessing a coup d'etat.

Come on, Pacey! You know what, I'm a little disappointed in you. I mean, I really thought you were untouchable. I thought you were shock-proof. - Alex

If your parents have truly found a way to love you, this won't be their last opportunity to prove it. - Grams

Episode 23 Swan Song

Audrey: But know that when we meet again and we will, I hope you're not the same dull, bookish prude that I met at the beginning of the year. Because it took me months to crack you and I just don't know if I have the energy to do it again.
Joey: Well, I will try not to undo all of your hard work.
Audrey: Thank you.

Believe me, Jo, I have tried so many times, I am this close to breaking some sort of anti-stalking law. - Pacey

Jack: What is up, slut?
Jen: Hmm, not much, big homo!

Jack: Got this for you.
Jen: Moby Dick?
Jack: Yeah. Yeah, it's a long flight. I figured you'd need something to read.
Jen: But I like to chat.
Jack: I know. And I like to sleep. Hence the over-sized volume you now hold in your hands.

And besides, if I know you two, there are things to be said, bitter sweetness to be had, things requiring... alone time and nature and whatnot. - Audrey

Dawson: There was a moment. It's Lily's birthday party and I opened your gift, that book of sketches? And I just sat there looking at this incredible... reflection of who you are and... I just realized I hate it when you're not around.
Joey: Dawson, how do you know that I'm not just this security blanket for you? You know, something that you'll keep coming back to whenever the world gets scary?

Joey: You know what, Pace? And don't take this the wrong way but... well, despite your pension for sugar-coated cereals and Saturday morning cartoons, you may be the most adult person I know. You never look back, do you?
Pacey: Why would you look back? The future's out there. And whatever it is, it's gonna be great.

Audrey, it's me. Look, um, I... I don't know if you can hear me right now but if you can, please don't get on that plane. Please? Or you know what, if you do get on the plane, that's fine, because all you're gonna do is make me drive across country and hang out in front of your parents' Beverly Hills mansion until you'll talk to me. Because I have to tell you that I am really truly sorry for everything and I'm sorry that I wasn't completely truthful with you. And I'm sorry for my predilection for the company of older women. It's just that... this has been a really strange year for me, Audrey. 'Cause while the rest of you guys were off to and the whole college thing, I was just doin' my best to stay afloat. And believe me, nobody's handin' out road maps for the road less traveled. You just kinda gotta get on and start drivin'. But ultimately, the only thing that I wanna take away from this year and the only thing that I'm gonna remember is you. Because you are amazing, Audrey. And you came along at a time when I thought all the big loves of my life were behind me and you just rocked my world. And I know that you and I don't actually even know each other that well yet but... I'm sure that I could live without you, I'm just not sure that I want to, Audrey. So... that's it, uh, that's it. That's my pitch. So peace out, everybody. Free the West Memphis Three. - Pacey

Audrey: Hey, dickhead! So now what?
Pacey: Now we drive to California, stopping only for food and sex.
Audrey: What about the world's biggest ball of yarn? Can't we stop for that?
Pacey: Whatever you wanna do, baby.
Audrey: And... what if some sexy... old broad hits on you along the way?
Pacey: I kick her to the curb.